i randomly stumbled across this blog from Grace Church in Wyoming. And wow, it has a lot of good stuff! I'm now a subscribed reader lol.
Reading this post, I thought it was wonderful! Often after listening to sermons, I don't really know how to collect my thoughts. They're usually running in all directions, and I just randomly pick at them... but sometimes its too late and the thoughts disappear (only to slightly reappear in CG - community group). Pastor Dave VanAcker from Grace Church posted a really structured way to respond to the teaching & preaching of the Word, and they all start with 'R'! How rocking!
Reread the Biblical text(s) from the pastor’s message.
Recall any contextual notes that the pastor made regarding the Biblical text(s).
Restate, as clearly as possible, the main points from the pastor’s message.
Relay your general thoughts and/or feelings after hearing the pastor’s message.
Respond by sharing any practical implications/applications of the Biblical text(s) that the pastor gave in his message (as well as few personal implications/applications of your own).
Relate to one another by committing to pray for and hold one another accountable for living out the truths communicated by the pastor.
Reflect the truths communicated by the pastor to each other (strengthening up the church), the world (evangelism and mercy), and to God (worship).
its kinda strange, but i don't feel sad or happy bout the outcome, just in the middle... perhaps this is peace i'm feeling? i'm not sure. but have definitely been praying for it.
on another note, today is a good day, for I finally got a baby brother, or at least I'd like to think of him like that. His name is Wistoni, 6 years old, and from Tanzania. I've been holding onto him for quite a while without submitting any payment.... i wasn't fully ready to open up my wallet to him... really i wasn't willing to open up my heart. But now I'm a full-fledged sponsor! A picture of him sits on my desk, so every time I look up from all this studying, I can smile as I think about what he's doing in Tanzania, and what a joy it is to share what little I have which means a whole world of a difference for him.
Yesterday got the privilege to volunteer at Homeless Connect Brisbane. It's an event where homeless or ppl at risk can come and look at what services they have access to, as well as enjoy lots of food, live music, among many other things! It started up in 2006 and has been running twice a year ever since. The main idea behind it all is to make sure people know what service agencies are out there, so if they need help, they can get it! It's a BRILLIANT IDEA!
I'd heard a handful of the organizations/services before, but never knew there were THIS many! The sorts of service agencies they had were for accommodation help, financial assistance services, health checkup places, mental health help, drug & alcohol support, employment & training programs, counselling services, legal assistance help, outreach vans (for food..), places for support for aged/disabled/Indigenous/women/youth, etc. How wonderful to have all these services in one place! One of the biggest easily avoidable problems is people don't know WHERE to look for help. Met a man, who struggled so much on the streets at first just because he never knew where to go. I'm sure there are many others too. But thats why HC exists!
Along with all the booths that were set up (& the free stuff they were giving out at the booths), they had heaps of other things going on! Hairdressers, beauticians, a professional photographer, GPs, massage therapists, dentists, physiotherapists, optometrists, ophthalmologists, Vinnies donated heaps of stuff that people could take for free, there were showers, laundry & dryer, free blankets & swags (learned a new aussie word! lol. at first i thought they were saying 'snags'...which are sausages, but swags are like rolled up bedding ppl use when roughing it on the streets. BIG difference haha), they also had a computer area for people who wanted to use the internet/computer or get help with computer skills/resumes/etc.
It was the little things of the day that really made it special though. For example, for lunch the guests sat down, and ppl waited on them.. its something that's not all that familiar a feeling, and something that was much appreciated by the guests. also taking ppl's rubbish and throwing it out for them, or asking if ppl wanted a top-up of their coffee/tea, and most of all, just walking up to ppl/sitting next to guests and asking how their day's been going :) I remember during volunteer orientation, we were told to go out of our way to make the guests feel special. The fact that the O-leader called them guests was Awesome! This day was their day, and we were to treat them like kings & queens, to really pamper & spoil them. The big thing that stuck was when he said, "Treat the guests the way you'd like to be treated!" and "Go the extra bit to make people feel comfortable & welcomed & loved!" I thought to myself, wow, what awesome biblical principles, to be all things to all men, to really love with action. And then thought, wouldn't it be wonderful if all Christians could be like this everyday? what if I could be like this everyday? Not that I'm in contact with a lotta homeless in my bubble of uni & church life tucked away in st. lucia.. but hoping that won't always be the case.
Anyways, all in all a wonderful day yesterday - met some lovely people & had some memorable conversations, listened to some awesome music, learned bout lotsa services out there to help the homeless, and just really enjoyed myself. Except i did lose my shirt... when arriving we had to change into volunteer shirts, so i left my shirt (& hairband) with the other shirts behind a table, at the end of the day it was gone. Hope they don't mind i took the volunteer shirt, had no choice hahah. i must say, i got the better end of the deal, this polo shirt totally outshines the other one i was wearing !
sidenote.... it'd be so awesome if many cities back home had HC events? although, i think vancouver, calgary & edmonton are already on the ball with this.. =) the idea is catching like wildfire!
Love is a funny thing, it makes the rain feel dry (E/G# A B)
and the birds start singing, and the sun is shining (E/G# A)
from this joy that fills our lives. (B)
VERSE 2
Love is never failing, it withstands the greatest storm
and even when this world is crumbling
theRock we stand on is firm
PRE-CHORUS
For we are loved, by the One who is love (E E/F# A E/G#)
Who sent His Son, to this world so we might live (E E/F# A E/G#)
and be made redeemed to be a people set apart (C#m B A)
Yes we are loved. (E E/F# E/G# A)
CHORUS
No power in hell or on earth, can separate us from our worth (E B/D# C#m B A)
We are His children, on solid Rock we stand! (E/G# A B E)
No fear of pain or fear of death, it's all cast out in righteousness (E B/D# C#m B A)
He is a God of love and in His love we stand! (E/G# A B E)
VERSE 3
Love is a selfless thing, it puts the other first
it bears all things, believes all things
it hopes and endures
8.5.10
I got a book a while back from a used book sale, only $2!! Finally got a chance to read it a few weeks ago. It's called Give up your small ambitions by Michael Griffiths. He talks through the practicalities of what it means to be a missionary (in his context he focuses more on overseas missions... but thought it was really applicable to now as well). Since no matter where we are, in the middle of Africa, among the innercity shelters, or in our classrooms or workplaces, we're all missionaries & lights representative of God and His Kingdom calling out to others to come see and taste this great news, that we can have true everlasting life and be freed from all sin and all guilt because of the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross!
The big things i learned from this book were (1) know the Bible well! (2) know the culture of who I'm reaching out to well (3) know myself well - what are my strengths & weaknesses (4) know God well (grow & deepen our relationship with God)..which should be the outflow of #1. by knowing God well, our faith becomes more & more grounded in Him. so no matter what is thrown our way, no matter what discouragement or lack of inspiration we receive, still we keep on plodding for the Lord & His Kingdom's sake!
Some quotes to think on for later.
"By the grace of God we are what we are, and we are not what we are not"
"A people's soul is open only to the missionary who lives among them, and learns their language, their traditions, their customs, their ideas, and their values. If the missionary is indifferent to the culture in which he lives, if he pays no attention to the public opinion, if he is not interested in the best literary and artistic expressions of that people, how can he know the thinking and the feelings of the people?"
"The younger a missionary is, the more likely he or she is able to adapt and identify"
"The single worker is single-minded in his or her devotion to the Lord, and is able to devote more time to direct Christian work"
"It is not only that men have a deep need, but that I am answerable for whether or not I have really sought to meet men's need."
"A missionary needs not only to be an expert in his own subject - that is in the Bible - but also to have the widest knowledge of the language and culture of the country to which he goes. He needs a real breadth of reading; he will have to meet people from all walks of life, and it will be of great value if he can take an informed interest in them"
"Every member of the Mission is expected to recognize that this dependence for the supply of all his need is on God, who called him, and for whom he works, and not on the human organization... their faith must be in God, their expectation from Him. The funds might fail or the Mission might cease to exist, but if they put their trust in Him He will never fail nor disappoint them." (Hydson Taylor)
"There is a real danger that those bitten by a 'missionary bug' will spend all their time thinking about the future and neglect the present. It was significant that the men whom the churches chose and sent in Acts were people who were already active in the churches"
"There is a great deal that is tedious and humdrum in the life of a missionary: there is a great deal of heart-break and disappointment, not least with one's self. The wonderful things never seem to happen where we are. One spends so much time just 'plodding'. One is always having to discover that 'longsuffering' is just as much a fruit of the Spirit as 'joy'."
6.5.10
moments like today are so precious. walking out of the house, breathing in fresh air, feeling the sun warm you, the wind whispering to you, each step so light like dancing, my heart beaming and full of inexpressible joy :) i know emotions aren't the driving force to our faith, but it sure does feel nice when those moments come. what inexpressible joy knowing I am His. Love between man and woman is a beautiful thing, so is love between a mother and her child, but even more beautiful is the love Christ has for His Church, that is for us! Everything pales and is overshadowed in comparison to His love for us! This love He has that neither death nor life nor angels nor rulers nor things present nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor anything else in all creation can separate!
Last week during clinical coaching our tutor had recommended us to see a patient, and so a few of us did. After meeting him and taking his history, I felt kinda downtrodden about his circumstances, and could hear him cry out with unspoken words the big questions of life: Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? ...ultimately he was crying out to His creator without even knowing it.
He'd been heavy on my heart for the next few days. We decided to go see him again to do a neuro exam, but when we saw him and asked for consent, he was too tired and frustrated to see anyone anymore, and just wanted to go home. I was a bit disappointed, hoping that I'd get a chance to talk with him more. Yet even after we left, he kept on tugging at my heart. And so finally I gave in and decided to head back down to his room again, not really knowing what I'd say when I got there, but praying all the while that God would give me words. He'd mentioned he was gonna go for a walk, so in the back of my mind i didn't think he'd be in his room, and thought i'd get out easy. When i got to his room, i stood outside for a bit praying that if he was in his room I'd talk to him, if he wasn't, then at least i tried.
To my surprise he was sitting on the side of his bed, and so I sat down on the chair beside him and we started talking. I really don't know how to explain it, but in that one hour or so something happened. It was like God had orchestrated the conversation to steer it towards the gospel. I look back and all i can do is smile at how God placed the right words and moments in conversation. He'd gone to a Catholic school once, and so I asked him if he'd ever heard what the Bible & Christianity was all about. Surprisingly he said no. And so naturally the next question to ask was if he wanted to hear about it, and he said Yes! We talked a bit more, and in the end we prayed. He was full of tears afterwards and mentioned that his neighbour too had been praying for him every night. Wow eh? God's totally working behind the scenes at all angles! When I went back upstairs, I shared with E & F what had just happened. And how perfect that E had brought an extra bible to give away to a friend, who turned out to already have a bible, so we were able to give this bible to the guy instead! Pray that he will open and read it, and be transformed by the life and work of Jesus Christ. Pray too that God would continue pursuing his heart and soul, through his neighbour or whoever else God places in his life! Also pray that he will pray! prayer sounds like an intensely religiousy kinda thing, but was telling him its just a fancy word that means to talk. He's never talked to God before that day, so pray he will not be afraid to acknowledge and talk to our Creator in heaven.
...Sometimes i forget that God is constantly working behind the scenes. i easily get jaded at the spiritual climate of western countries, thinking ppl don't really wanna hear bout the gospel. but how wonderful it is to be reminded that it's He who works in and prepares the field of people's hearts not us, and if we are willing, he will let us join in and take part in His work :)
26.3.10
i was thinking through this year and the last and i'm just amazed at how God works in our hearts to change and transform us continually. God is so good! the one thing i just can't seem to get over is the grace He pours on us. this year has been life-altering for me, where i am just beginning to grasp the concept of His grace, no longer weighed down by unrelenting legality or pendular faith based on emotions. That yes, I am sinful, flawed, and i fall short in all aspects, but that i am a work in progress, and His grace blankets over all these things, cloaking me in full righteousness before a Holy God. Now THIS is Good News! And how comforting that His HS works in us bit by bit to make clear the things we ought to strip & change in our lives. But never by our own effort, for it is Him who keeps us from stumbling, and Him who presents us blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy (Jude 24). =)
Last year I was reminded of an important lesson, God doesn't want us to 'do', He simply wants us to 'be'. That out of being and basking as His child, the fruit comes as the overflow of it all. This year I'm learning that it is Grace which connects and defines these things. We are able to "be" in Him by His grace, and by His grace we are able to "do". How wonderful it is to open our eyes and see His grace at work all around us & in us!
On another note, after all the boy drama of 2009, this year has been a breath of fresh air basking in singleness. It's mindboggling how God so easily puts a lovesong in our hearts for Him, for He is the one love that lasts eternally and loves bottomlessly! And how wonderful to know that in our singleness lies our full devotion and single-mindedness to Him & His purposes for us :) At the Women of Purpose Conference, it was renewing to be stirred on again in Matthew 28:16-20. And I pray He'd continue keeping me single-minded, using my energy and mind-space to focus on heavenly things, that my heart would yearn not for myself or for a relationship, but rather i would yearn so deeply for others to grow in knowledge and love for our Lord Jesus Christ, looking not to my own interests but the interests of others placing them before myself so that they may be saved (1cor10:33)!
Father, by Your grace here I stand, use me.
13.3.10
"Salvation is not just about being “saved from” something, it's about being “saved for” something." -- Shaun Grove
VERSE (C#m, B, A) Son of Man you came down to this earth To restore our lives into Your hand What saving grace
You took our sin upon Your shoulders The crown of thorns and nail-pierced hands You bled for us
BRIDGE (B, A) You reconciled us to the Father Wiping all our sin away
CHORUS (E, B, C#m, A) God made him who had no sin to be sin for us So that we might be the righteousness of God All our hope and joy and love is made complete in You The old has gone and we are now made new In You
You who gave us life when we were dead You who gave us hope in the hopeless You who changed our hearts into flesh You who made us see the sun again We are new in You We are new in You
26.2.10
its good to reflect & look back into the past to see God's mighty hand at work. its His gift as a source of encouragement, not just reading about the God of the Bible, but also knowing and experiencing firsthand the personal God of our lives.
"If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
- C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)
Bullseye. I remember talking about this with a friend a few years ago, and of course as girls we'd use sweets in our analogy. We hold on to that pinch of sugar with clenched fists unyielding and stubborn and stupid not to open our hands to the chocolate cheese cake offered us. Hrm, indeed I am too easily pleased. May the fullness and completeness of my joy be found solely in You, the infinitely Enjoyable!
i got sent this article in an email. i rarely get angry over anything.. but this, it definitely invoked angry-feelings! What blaring lies the media will spin to suit their own personal agenda. its disgusting, horrifying, and worst of all misleading...
"The truth about heroin is that it is a benign drug. It is addictive – and that is a very good reason not to use it – but the only significant screw-up it inflicts on the physical, mental and moral condition of its users is constipation... The truth, which for decades has scarcely dared to speak its name, is that all of the illness, misery, death and crime associated with heroin are, in fact, the effect not of the drug itself but of the black market on which it is sold as a result of this war against drugs" - Nick Davies.
this article's been thrown around quite a bit in the defense for legalizing heroin. i wonder who in their right mind would think all problems associated with heroin-use will disappear if it's legalized. what dark clouds we live under that truth can be so far distorted..
12.2.10
"Commitment as a Christian" - Bob Moorhead
'I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I will not look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotion or popularity. I do not have to be right, recognized, praised, regarding or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer and labour by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven. My road is narrow, my way rough, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not give up, shut up, or let go.
I am a disciple of Jesus. I will go on until He comes, and work until He stops me.'
it was weird, but i left bible study today quite disheartened & discouraged. the opposite of what I should've been. especially since tonight's study we were looking at such an uplifting passage (Jude 24-25). i took a loooooong detour walking home... 1 hr of trying to clear my head & talk things out with the big G.
i didn't even know why i felt that way... but finally came to the conclusion that i was disheartened with myself. i remember a year ago, one of the very 1st sermons that Pastor Steve preached on was bout having hard heads & soft hearts. i've got the soft heart down pat. but as far as the hard head goes... at times i wonder if there's much inside this head. before i always loved the fact that God could hear my unspoken words. i would just sit ..and without saying a word, loved that God could hear my every cry of joy and sadness in my heart. and while reflecting on His words, they would make their mark in my heart... but not as often a mark in my head... prolly why i was never great at explaining these unsaid things... i just knew them to be true in my soul. Oh but how I wish I could grow not just in heart but also in knowledge and understanding with WORDS, not just internal unspoken truths. I admire those in my bible study group. They have such MASSIVE HEADS & such clarity of thought and speech! Today more than ever though, i felt a lot of big words fly over me. While reading the passage, I just had this urge to jump with joy lol. I couldn't even explain it... such hope, such comfort, such PURE JOY knowing that we are His and He will NEVER forsake us. WOW! More than that, knowing how much of a sinner I was, and the great cost Christ paid on that cross so that I may have this joy and hope and peace! It boggles my mind. I'd imagine its pretty much like that feeling you'd get if you won the lottery! =) Complete bliss knowing you're set for life!! and how undeserving we are of it too! All this I was feeling, yet couldn't put any of it into words.
... how I pray I may know my God and my faith not just in heart but also in head! to think hard & deep bout these things not just for the sake of my inner self during quiet times, but also for the benefit of others as we grow together in the faith!
train hard!! persevere!! let each waking minute be used for His glory! Be saturated with His Word so that you may have a clear mind as to what it is God wills for you each day! =)
21.1.10
Mmmmmm... icy poles :) my best friend in this ridiculous brissy heat!
its easy not to care if you (un)intentionally distance yourself away from those needing it.
its easy not to notice those who are hurting & breaking if you've never stopped to look & listen but would rather have eyes plastered only to yourself.
its easy not to feel a thing if you've never cracked your hard-shell accumulated from all those years of living in a jaded cynical pessimistic world.
its easy not to love if you've never experienced true untainted selfless grace-filled God-sourced love.
its easy not to believe in the power of the gospel if you always cower in lack of faith, misunderstanding that it is not you but God who transforms hearts by His will - you're just a messenger.
its easy not to be bold if you're always in the shadow of doubt and unbelief.
its easy not to do anything if you're always just sitting here typing & thinking. . . .
15.1.10
we looked at the 1st chpt of the sermon on the mount yesterday. its funny how the bible has this way of letting you see your reflection as it truly is. conclusions? I need to spend more time caring, less time procrastinating. More time listening, less time talking. More time being understanding, and less time being impatient with others..
I'm looking at this year stretch out before me, and wow, this is definitely gonna require some better time management and perhaps less sleep on my part. God help me get through it all. More than that, help me find missing sheep here in brisbane..
pearls: "We love our people whether they turn out well or not and the successes do not vindicate our ministry nor the disappointments nullify it. What is important is whether we have loved in a real way - not preached in an impassioned way from a pulpit." - Jackie Pullinger
"We love much because we have been forgiven much!" - JP
i got into brisbane yesterday. on the plane ride here, i was a bit apprehensive about starting another year. there's just so much clutter in my head right now that adding school & the crazy workload that comes with it is the last thing i need. but the moment i landed and the moment i breathed in the hot humid brisbane air, i felt peace. its a good feeling. but its more than a feeling. its a knowledge that everything will work out :) this morning during devos i was staring outside, i could hear the birds chirping, see the sun peaking through the trees and the crystal blue sky, and wow it never ceases to amaze me that God is creator. God is creator of ALL things :) He's placed the moon the sun and the stars in the universe, stretched out the sky before me and filled up the oceans deep, rose the mountains and carved the rivers. He is in control of all things. How comforting to know my life too is in His hands :) and so goodbye apprehension and hello 2010! i'm excited for the new year and look forward to the next decade to come no matter where i end up or what i end up doing.. i pray it all may be used for the expanse of His kingdom!
"Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
You return man to dust and say, 'Return, O children of man!' For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.
You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning: in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers.
For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!" -psalm90 (esv)
My resolve is to: "Keep vigilant watch over my heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of my mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep my eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch my step, and the road will stretch out smooth before me. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust."-prov4:20-27 (msg)
so i've been sick this past week, although i was better 2 sundays ago, after that day it came back with a vengeance. hopefully i'll have kicked it outta my system before i head for brissy. in the meantime, i finished reading a book "a.k.a. 'LOST'" by Jim Henderson.
It talks about being ordinary and doing small things when connecting with others. There were heaps he said that were really thought-provoking. so i'll jot them down lest i forget :)
"preach to serve & serve to preach. We preach as if we're serving when we use words that carry people's hearts to Jesus rather than just correcting their mistaken beliefs. We preach as if we're serving when we refuse to steer the conversation in a direction that satisfies our own agenda. We preach as if we're serving when we ask more questions that we give answers. We preach as if we're serving when, after someone asks us what we're about, we talk about Jesus in a way that is real and matches their level of receptivity. We preach as if we're serving when our hearts' intention is for the other person to experience Jesus's love and reality, not just hear our beliefs.
And here's the other approach. We serve as if we're preaching when we do things for others, putting their needs ahead of our own. We serve as if we're preaching when we restrain ourselves from verbally clarifying that our real motive is to demonstrate God's love. We serve as if we're preaching by anticipating our missing friends' level of interest and praying behind their backs, asking Jesus to nudge them towards a heartfelt relationship with him."
"When Jesus approached people, he wasn't being evangelistic, he was being Jesus!"
"Finding the people Jesus misses most isn't about boldness, it's about love."
"Most pastors have learned to count the seated rather than the served - we call it church growth"
"Restraint (in conversation) is the highest form of discipline"
sunday morning i woke up sick to the point that i couldn't even speak. that plus i felt like there was a porcupine shoved down my throat. so was almost thinking of calling up my friend and cancelling going to church. but then thought it wouldn't be too great especially since she's just started coming out.. and didn't really want her to go alone since its pretty daunting going to church by yourself if you don't know anyone!
Anyways, during congregational prayer time, they switched things up a bit and we were able to pray for each other in twos :) So my friend prayed for my sickness, that I would get better. And VOILA! I got better!! I'm not completely healed, but i FEEL like i'm healed despite the sporadic cough here or there. but what was crazy was that before she prayed, when we were singing, no sound would come out when i tried to sing. after prayer however, i was able to sing like normal as if i'd never even gotten sick! :) My friend hadn't prayed to God in over a year, and God used her prayer of faith to heal me! How cool is that? =D tres cool indeed! that God uses ALL people for His glory!!
Today i went downtown and met a guy named Charlie, who goes by Chinay on the streets. Took a seat next to him and started talking. What a jolly guy. He was in his mid-40s and was First Nations, and had been living on the streets since his late teens. He grew up rolling 100 joints a day of marijuana with his mom. He was able to laugh through these things. i guess he was pretty proud of his success in his younger days, bringing in at least $500 a day from selling pot to his classmates. But through the laughter and somewhat mindless chatter, i could sense his hurt. He has 2 daughters who want nothing to do with him, and had 1 son who passed away. It didn't take much to know and feel the regret he had in his life. And so i did the only thing i knew how to do, i prayed with him. He got teary after we prayed, and I know its cuz the HS is working in his heart. Before i left i gave him a little care package with a bible & an invitation to come to church later on tonight.
if you're reading this post, please pray for Charlie - for mended relationships with his daughters, for learning that he can rid all shame and guilt through the cross, and ultimately that God would bring hope and light into his life as he toughs it out on the streets. Man, i look at him and i just shake my head. There's so much excess in our culture, in what we buy, what we eat, in everything...especially during this Christmas season. its rather scary when I think about how much is wasted when it can be used for good. I guess this is where Jesus needs to shine ever more brightly.. through our hands & feet :)
Praise be to God who came down onto Earth in the form of a baby bringing salvation & hope to all! Merry Christmas :)
The mountain that was moved: Dr. R was facing deregistration or at best a few years of suspension from medical practice. Why? Because he stood up for what was right. Because he cares too much for his patients. and because people lied against and falsely accused Dr. R. He's opposed to drug maintenance and because of that many red alarms have been popping up all around him, and health bureaucrats have been trying to get him out. They've tried for over 10 years, but still made no dent! He offered morphine in severe cases to patients detoxing off of methadone. Everywhere around the world this is standard treatment, Canada, US, Europe, even Western Australia, but not here in QLD. More than that, he got verbal permission from the QLD Drug & Dependence Unit, who then denied giving it at all. His own lawyers thought at best he'd get 3 years of suspension, the other side was pushing for deregistration. Despite this, God moved the mountain, worked in the judge's heart who ruled that his suspension be suspended for 3 years! What a miracle! He'll be starting back at work on the monday :) It goes against all laws and logic, and I guess thats why just thinking about it puts a HUGE smile on my heart. God is a miracle-worker.
A family found. I met the loveliest couple this past week as a bunch of us gathered to help Dr. R sift through a bajillion boxes of archives. They've somewhat adopted me as their daughter, and they my 'Australian' family. It's strange. I've never clicked with people as fast as I clicked with these 2. They're different than the typical older Christian couple you'd see in church. Gary is just backed with a wealth of wisdom and has such a huge heart full of compassion for struggling men. He works at New Hope House with Teen Challenge here in Brisbane and is a chaplain as well. His wife is one crazy amazing woman! She's studying at bible college and she's what I'd call RADICAL! :) Both Gary & Linda are the type of people I'd read about in books. I'm still recovering from meeting both of them! I think the one thing that really stuck out was the fact that they're both so eager to grow and are so fired up, there's no pause on their remote, they just Go and Do, and talking to them you understand why, they're absolutely saturated with the Holy Spirit :) I just love the fact that they really love God and they're NOT afraid to show it!
A night of celebration! They brought me up to Toowoomba for Champion's Night at Teen Challenge. I'm still kinda in shock to be honest... at God's amazing power to transform lives so radically. Imprinted in my mind is a guy named Josh: was on the streets, used everything, headed towards death, but yet here he is completed the program at TC, and with YWAM now filled with such a passion for full-time missions! He was one of many stories that night. It was wonderful seeing and celebrating with these guys. One thing really stuck out for me that Pastor Alan said "Success isn't about never failing, success is learning how to deal with failure" & to get through failure think ADHD: assurance --> deliverance --> hope --> destiny!
22.11.09
"Life sometimes can be like the frayed endings of a most beautiful tapestry. We just see the bottom frayed bits in our life, but truly God is weaving a beautiful picture out of us" -- Pastor Steve
"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." -- 2 Cor 4
O Lord my God deliver him I pray. All things are possible through you, but let Your will be done! Grant him peace and assurance and hope knowing full well You are in control of every circumstance. As you say in Isaiah 45, "I am the LORD, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things." Nothing goes without Your hand in it. And so I pray Lord God that You'd continue to weave out a most beautiful tapestry from Dr. R's life and the lives of his patients. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.
9.11.09
i went to moonyah today to check out Salvos' detox unit and their drug, alcohol & gambling rehab center. They definitely do a good work there!
during lunch, everyone was at the caf eating. as i was getting my food i met a really nice man named Scott. He arrived 10 weeks ago, was on heroin, and went cold turkey off of it. I was amazed! that's no easy feat. it was even more amazing hearing him accredit everything to the Big G. i still can't get over hearing addicts, ex-convicts, and the homeless talk about Jesus. its strange, but it lights my heart on fire. its so contagious! when you see someone whose heart is set ablaze, you can't help but feel the heat and catch fire.
i sat down with the other staff members who were sitting on the long table in the front. it reminded me of my highschool caf, where all the teachers sat along this sectioned off table away from the students... it seemed like an invisible divide, giving an 'us' versus 'them' kinda feel to the place. i sat there eating, and i thought about the parable of the great banquet in luke 14. i wondered if the master would've had the poor, the blind, the crippled and the lame sit off to the side and not have them join in on the feast at his table? ..my eyes fell on Scott as he was sitting there eating by himself. i felt so urged to lift up my plate and plop myself next to him... but felt social etiquette kick into play that i should stay with the people who had taken me in and showed me around the place. i wish i had greater courage. next time. i can't help but wonder just how different the atmosphere would be at their caf if everyone sat with everyone, if there were no more invisible divides.. just a random thought.
On another note, i need to get crackin on this research thing. 2 more days! :*( God help me please to focus!
The week in Perth has come and gone just like that! I didn't get a chance to see much of Perth, but I don't really mind. got to see a whole lotta other stuff & learned heaps :) don't want to forget any of it..
a little about George...
Dr. George O'Neil, entrepreneur extraordinaire, founded Freshstart not-for-profit organization, founded Go Medical Industries, Research Director & innovator, Inventor of the O'Neil implant & O'Neil catheter among other inventions, missionary doctor to Africa, Addiction Medicine doctor, part-time obstetrician/gynecologist, father, husband, and front-line sprinter in this race of faith! This man is seriously changing the face of addiction medicine, and his naltrexone implants actually WORK in getting people off not just heroin, but also alcohol, ice, tranqs, you name it! It's crazy. I think it just hit me today that I met someone famous. 10 years from now I'll be reading about him in textbooks! But all that aside, George is the humblest & kindest man I've ever met despite all his accomplishments. He lives very humbly, that one of his patients the other day was in disbelief when they saw his old station wagon roll in and even told him how they felt like buying him a new car (you wouldn't even think he was the founder of a multi-million dollar organization) His patients and staff are treated like his children. He gives them his full attention and somehow makes everyone feel welcomed. The front door to his house is always open, he gives away his home phone & mobile numbers to his patients, even tells his patients where he lives in case they need to find him! The O'Neils are incredibly generous! They don't hold onto anything tightly in this world, especially money. They pay out of their own pockets to keep the organization up & running, and never turn away patients even if they don't have enough money to pay for treatment. There are ppl who show up at their clinic from all over Australia. Sometimes the O'Neils even pay for their ticket to fly out to Perth! They definitely taught me firsthand what it truly meant to have a generous heart & to not hold onto things of this world so tightly.. for it all becomes dust in the end anyways.
a little (or a lot) about addiction medicine...
addiction occurs on 3 levels:
The Level of the Cell - there are opioid receptors on the cell membrane. during times of stress there is a spike in endogenous opioid release. if there is chronic stress (ex. growing up in a dysfunctional family, series of broken relationships, etc) then after a while the chronic high concentration of endogenous opioids will damage the receptors from over-use. damage causes insensitivity and therefore increases the release of opioids in order to maintain same effect. if in combination with morphine, heroin or other opiates, then we see increased damaged and decreased sensitivity of receptors.
The Level of the Brain - Paul talks about the internal battle between the flesh and the mind in Romans 7, in modern terms it can be seen as the battle between the limbic system and executive functioning of the prefrontal cortex, or perhaps the head vs. the heart. It's all the same thing. With Pavlov's dogs, their dopamine levels increased 50% at the anticipation/desire for food when the bell rang. With heroin, dopamine levels rise 1000x! imagine overcoming that strong of a craving for something..
The Level of the Person - our roadmap to life begins when we grow up at home. if we come from a dysfunctional family then all we grow up with and all we know are unhealthy relationships and unhealthy ways with dealing & coping. Everyone on drugs to some degree battles with guilt, and therefore the big hump for most is forgiveness - learning to forgive and learning to be forgiven.
With that in mind, healing & recovery also occurs on 3 levels. In Christian terms: body, mind, soul. In medical terms: physiology, cognition, self-actualization. The 3-prong approach is addressed by George's organization!
body/physiology (cellular level) --> introducing an antagonist to block drug's effects thereby allowing time for receptors to 'heal' and become like brand-new. blocked effects also allow freedom of mind not chained by cravings/desires and offers enough time for the patient to get back on their feet for a second chance
mind/cognition (brain level) --> counselling & mentor services are offered
soul/self-actualization (person level) --> chaplaincies, bible studies/devos in the detox houses, community houses similar to Teen Challenge, opportunities for education & skills training, employment opportunities (quite a few of the workers/volunteers at FreshStart are previous patients!)
A simpler version of recovery which George uses often is the PHREE model:
Physiology (the naltrexone implants, antagonizing opiate effects)
Housing (ensuring patients have a place to live to start the road to recovery)
Relationships (mending & re-building broken relationships; re-learning how to form healthy relationships)
Education (patients are encouraged to gain an education & a christian-version of the 'Twelve Steps")
Employment (ultimate goal of reintegration into the community with a self-sustaining not self-destructive lifestyle)
a little about doctor politics... In addiction medicine, the buzz word that's thrown around is harm-reduction. Essentially this means to reduce risks associated with drug use without actually interfering with patient's drug behaviour. In other words its about decreasing the number of deaths caused by ODs and decreasing the spread of disease, without actually solving the problem of addiction. The current government-funded form of treatment is methadone. According to the doctors, methadone (opioid agonist) is man's best method for treating drug addiction, but if you talk to the patients, its far from the ideal. Methadone is nasty stuff, erodes & decays your teeth, decreases bone density, causes widespread aches & pains, depression & withdrawal-induced psychosis, and worst of all you're still addicted to opiates and still experience cravings. It has a horrible success rate and talking to the patients at the detox clinic, methadone is the worst stuff to detox from, far worse than heroin itself. So then one has to question why are doctors giving patients methadone if a) it destroys the patient physically b) its painfully hard to detox from and c) at the end of the day the patient is still addicted and using opiates.
There's a new emerging approach to addiction medicine which doesn't involve harm-reduction. There's no fancy word attached, it just simply believes that not only can harm be reduced, but also recovery from addiction can be made where the patient can remain opiate-free! Talking to patients who've received naltrexone (opioid antagonist) treatment, you see firsthand how effective it is! It completely stops the cravings and desires, along with the drugs' effects. The only people I've heard who are against the use of antagonist-therapy are the doctors, namely the pro-methadone doctors. Taking a step back, you'd wonder why there even is a debate. Methadone treatment: going from one type of opiate to another type of opiate. Naltrexone treatment: going from one type of opiate to none! with the emergence of antagonist therapy, pro-methadone doctors such as Alex Wodak (credited to have started the needle injection site movement) have written such charged letters to members of the Australian government basically saying they shouldn't even be thinking of funding naltrexone work (since funding for naltrexone work means less funding for methadone work). I spent a chunk of this week helping George write an affidavit, and its crazy how doctors can get so petty, juvenile, and be outright liars. As I was reading this document from Wodak speaking against naltrexone, one by one all the points he listed were lies and the worst thing was he knew it, but that didn't stop him. Sounds so petty and so wrong. Many of the patients I've talked to want to receive naltrexone therapy but its just too expensive. Its such an injustice if you think about it, that the government is denying patients from truly getting better, or at least having the option to choose! I'm sure 10 years down the road the dust will settle, but I'm inspired to see this process speed up. hrm, surveys, questionnaires & letters here we come =)
a little about some people I met... Jason: he had been abusing alcohol since young and had been in and out of jail all his life because of the influence of alcohol. He told me the longest time he'd ever been out of jail was for 7 weeks. But after receiving treatment with a naltrexone implant, he's now been outta jail for 2 years! It's been 2 years from touching alcohol and 2 years after finding God & himself. It was pretty awesome getting to know him. He's in the process of finding a job now, just submitted his resumes and everything. How awesome :)
Peter: he has used and abused practically everything from ice, benzos, heroin, alcohol, etc since he was 13 years old and was headed in a downward spiral. he wanted out of his addiction and found George to get treated. He's now been practically drug-free for 10 years and mentors other patients who are just coming out of addiction. He's also not shy to mention the huge role God has played in transforming his life. it was so edifying to talk about God with him :) it still catches me offguard a lot of times when I meet Christians from a whole other walk of life than mine, definitely not the typical church-goer person you'd imagine. How wonderful is that!
Jessica: travelled all the way from Brisbane with some friends to receive an implant (was too expensive in Brisbane since they have to pay the full price cuz there's no George to swallow up the costs). Not a Christian and doesn't want anything to do with it, but was surprisingly so open about her relationship with her dad and how much hurt he's caused her and her family. She's struggling with forgiving her father. She gave me her mobile number so i'll have to chase her down this week :) how beautiful it would be if she finds Christ and learns to forgive and be forgiven. she noticed the HopeFoundation bracelet i was wearing, and is friends with some friends of Bronwen Healey! how wonderful it'd be to take her to hopefoundation next thursday :)
Tess: lost her boyfriend a year ago who overdosed on heroin and is having a tough time grieving. she has uncontrolled diabetes, a complication from excess heroin use, and doesn't have all that long to live (maybe 10 years max), but is trying so hard to live out a fulfilling life. I remember hugging her and feeling how frail she was. Not someone you'd expect to be around my age. George has done so much for this young girl, beyond treatment but in supporting her emotionally. He came in afterhours one day to the girls detox house just to talk to her and see how she was going. (this after finishing work around 7!)
a little about some random stuff... This past week I baked my very FIRST cake from scratch =) and learned how to bar chords on the guitar courtesy of one of their sons Graham who taught me despite my slow intake lol. i also finished reading Deadly Money Maker by Saga McOdongo, and learned a little about the drug world in Kenya (drugs in kiswahili is 'marufuku'). Its a good read, writing of her experience locked up in jail in Kenya for drug trafficking. i've also heard the strangest song ever known to man! it makes me crack up everytime i listen to it!
a little about some things i've learned...
live humbly knowing it is He who does a good work in us
live joyfully each day when in plenty or in need
have FUN joining in on God's work
use the time we're given wisely, don't waste it!
be patient and always be ready to forgive 70x7 times even if patients lie or disappoint you
we receive from Him so that we can give to others, so don't hold onto the things of this world
3.11.09
I'm in Perth :)
I arrived last night at 7:45pm. It was quite the hectic morning with many bumps on the road! I set my alarm to 3am, my flight was at 5:00am, and of course i sleep through the alarm and end up waking at 4:25am. In a state of adrenalin-shock i frantically called up a taxi who gets me to the airport at 4:45am (unheard of! he drove like a madman). I run into the airport and silly me forgot to check-in the night before, and since the check-in deadline was for 4:30am.. i was too little too late. I had to pay a $50 fine (*sigh) to change the flight, but my card kept on declining. my heart sunk as i thought of the worst case scenario, that perhaps someone had gotten into my account and emptied it? but i called the bank and everything was alright.. so i'm guessing its just the magnetic strip that has gone wonky.. will have to sort it out when i get back. I wasn't sure how i was gonna pay the $50. Out of habit i never carry a credit card with me, but for some reason as i was hopelessly searching through my wallet, i found one! (strange!) so thankfully I was still able to catch a flight to Perth :) I only had some spare change in my wallet, so for the whole day i had 1 mcdonald's apple pie lol. SO DELICIOUS when u go a day without food!
When I arrived on the other end, Christine (Chris) and George (the doc I'm shadowing out here in Perth) met me at the airport with a welcome sign :) I've never met a lovelier couple than they! Greeted with warm hugs & kisses from well.. absolute strangers, yet they made me feel so absolutely at home. That same night we drove around delivering huge bags full of bread (which they often do) to some of their detox houses (which house anyone without or needing a home after receiving treatment for as long as it takes for them to get on their feet). All i can say is wow, I've never met a more radical couple! It's even more inspiring when I consider their age! They could be my grandparents, yet still they are running hard & fast for the Lord =)
31.10.09
why do ppl have to make things so complicated? life is simple, or at least it should be. but i guess things are done for a reason or rather ppl have their own logic/reasoning behind their actions, and so i should just stop caring & stop letting it get to me.. but i can't help but feel hurt because of it..
a friend introduced me to some christian rap a few weeks ago. in the past i was always turned off by it, it wasn't all that pretty or nice to listen to, cuz there's no nice melodic tune. but these days, i'm finding myself listening to more & more christian rap! i think the majority of the songs on my mp3 player now is rap! so strange! i'm starting to like it more cuz its like listening to a story, or someone talking to me. there's more words, so it fits more umph & more meat into the lyrics. listening to rap is like eating a very thick slab of steak vs. a deliciously delicate slice of fish. both are tastey, but sit differently in the stomach. :) rap or no rap, yay for music!
29.10.09
The doctor I'm working with has what seems like an arsenal of bible verses stored & constantly being put to use. He quotes verses left right and center. In consultations he'll bring up verses sometimes unbeknownst to the patient, for there are such pearls of wisdom buried in those pages. That and the combination of Pastor Steve's urging of 517ers to memorize bible verses has pushed me & encouraged me to start! I asked Dr. Reece how he memorizes bible verses, and he gave me this analogy (he likes using analogies, a LOT)
"Reading the Bible is like being a kid in a lollyshop. Each verse is like a lolly that you just suck on, letting it melt in your mouth" - Dr. R
It's one thing to understand a verse in mind & thought, it's a whole other thing to connect with it in heart & soul. Often I find I don't give enough heart time to connect with verses in the bible.. I'm always rushed to 'get the verse' versus letting the verse get me, if that makes any sense. I just need to give myself more time. Hopefully waking up early will help with that.
On another note, I gave blood today for the very first time! After blood giving, the clinic had awesome snacks, and over snacks a friend gave me some food for thought. "No one can do it all." My whole life I've always been a multi-tasker. I've always piled things on my plate and somehow juggled it all around. And in a weird sick way, I kinda liked running around and being busy. So cuz of that, I figured that when I got older I could perhaps keep up the same multitasking deal. But i think this friend may have gotten it right. I can't do it all. If I look a little closer at my multitasking days I find that I really didn't manage everything on my plate. as things got piled on, other things slipped off and got unnoticed or halfheartedly done. i think as i get older and responsibilities become more serious i can't afford to let things slip. and so it all comes down to priorities i guess. if only there were more hours in a day.
28.10.09
Ever since Kim & Eleasa have left 'home' it's been quite busy, which I'm glad for (makes it easier not to notice i miss them). Every day has had its share of things to do. Things aside, the most inspiring chunk of the day has always happened at the clinic.
I've just started elective with Dr. R on monday, and wow! that's really all i can say right now. so much has happened, and my thinking & beliefs are being challenged each and every way (for the better!) Its only been 3 days, but as each hour passes by my heart grows more and more in love for his patients. its the opposite from what i expected.
addiction. its horrible stuff. one wrong decision, one wrong choice, and suddenly you find yourself in a downward spiral of wrong choices and a life far from what you could ever imagine, hopeless. i've learned heroin is really expensive stuff..half a gram is around $250! i've also learned people will do absolutely anything to get it. and eventually it all leads to poverty, homelessness, crime, even prostitution...ultimately pain & suffering, all because of the driving desire to get that next hit. gosh the crime lords & gangs have prolly got the most successful business out there. its disgusting.. its just not right, its like selling nooses..
one of the patients told me her addiction or rather her 'love affair' with heroin was like someone stranded in the desert for a week without a drop of water with the midday scorching sun beating down hard on her. Her mouth is so dry, her tongue feels like a cactus stuck to the roof of her mouth. But suddenly she sees an oasis! She does everything she can to get to the water. Once she arrives she drinks furiously only to find out the water is toxic. but she's too thirsty to even care..
what an image.
there's a happy ending for this lady though. she did find the truest purest source of water (as in the big G) and Dr. R probably had some say in showing her the way :) i think its easy & 'comfortable' to become stingy with the Truth. the thing is, there are so many people around us drowning - for the harvest is plenty but the workers are few. we read this, we hear this, and perhaps if we allow ourselves to open our eyes, we see this, but what comes next? we throw lifesavers out :) but i think at least for myself, even though i have a limitless supply of lifesavers i've been stingy in throwing them out. i only give them away if someone swims up to me and asks. Dr. R is the opposite. he throws as many lifesavers out as he possibly can. he doesn't even care if you're looking away or if you don't even want it, cuz sometimes even if you don't want it or need it, a few minutes later you'll start realizing you're drowning and then you'll start looking around and grab hold of that lifesaver.
on another note. one thing i've learned is its hard to ask for prayer, its so much easier to offer. therefore i oughtta be BOLD and offer! i think spiritually i've always been kinda timid. sometimes there'd be that tug to pray or to talk about Truth (with a capital T), but never had the guts to follow through. how sad. i'm learning though, not to be so shy anymore. or rather, i'm being forced not to be so shy & encouraged by what not-being-shy even looks like! i'm still kinda in a state of shock! i get to pray with patients!! how crazy awesome is that? :) iunno if i can go back to the monotony of school now that i've seen this. how i wish i could start practicing right now.
Tomorrow, Dr. R has sent me off on a 'field-trip' to a church! :) the whole organization is called Hope Foundation. it was started by one of Dr. R's patients who struggled with heroin to the point where she sold her body to get enough cash to pay for the drug. Being on a treatment program with Dr. R was only a temporary fixer-upper. It wasn't until she found God when she gave up heroin permanently, not just in her head, but in her heart. on thursdays they have a group of women who meet up, mainly women who were or are involved with addiction and the sex trade. Women broken and hurting, but healing through God's grace :) I'm excited to meet these women tmr, to hear their stories, & how God's been working in & through them! here's a video from their website:
On a spontaneous note, this monday I'm going to Perth to meet a man named Dr. George O'Neil! (it still seems so surreal. Dr. R was really keen for me to go & suggested the idea yesterday.. and here i am 1 day later with a ticket in hand for the coming monday!) This doctor is the guy who invented the Naltrexone implant - the thing thats truly keeping ppl off the drugs. More than that, he's a Kingdom-minded Christian who's going strong for the Lord :) He also works a lot with the homeless, even opening around 40 homes to get ppl off the streets! I'm really excited to see who he is, what he's doing, & what God's been doing there in Perth!
Less exciting than Perth-news, but still very exciting: today marks the day when i first took blood from someone! =)
16.10.09
"Lord, I only want your approval."
15.10.09
"Jesus is Lord of All or He isn't Lord at all." ~Stephen Manley "There's no such thing as a lukewarm Christian. It's like saying there's dry water." ~Stephen Manley "Is Jesus an overcoat you put on for the winter and take off for the summer?" ~Stephen Manley "The issue isn't good or bad. It's he's not been at all." ~Stephen Manley "Sovereign God, Thy case, not my own, engages my heart, and I appeal to thee with greatest freedom to set up thy kingdom in every place where Satan reigns; Glorify thyself and I shall rejoice, for to bring honor to thy name is my sole desire. I adore thee that thou are God, and long that others should know it, feel it, and rejoice in it. O that all men might love and praise thee, that thou mightst have all glory from the intelligent world! Let sinners be brought to thee for thy dear name! To the eye of reason everything respecting the conversion of others is as dark as midnight, But thou canst accomplish great things; the cause is thine, and it is to thy glory that men should be saved. Lord, use me as thou wilt, do with me what thou wilt; but, O, promote thy cause, let thy kingdom come, let thy blessed interest be advanced in this world! O do thou bring in great numbers to Jesus! let me see that glorious day, and give me to grasp for multitudes of souls; let me be willing to die to that end; and while I live let me labour for thee to the utmost of my strength, spending time profitably in this work, both in health and in weakness. It is thy cause and kingdom I long for, not my own. O, answer thou my request!" - Valley of Vision
wow.. what a prayer. what a calling we have. powerful stuff. hrm.. to be pondered after exams..
14.10.09
the kingdom of heaven is like a balloon :)
A man blows into a balloon and it expands. Air molecules in contact with the balloon surface are at the edge of balloon expansion, and air molecules in the middle of the balloon are also working to increase the balloon, pushing & supporting air molecules near the edge & expanding the balloon from within (although it may not be as noticeable). It is good to know that air molecules alone cannot do any work, but the man blowing the balloon is the ultimate source to direct & give power to expand the balloon.
We are the air molecules. God is the man blowing the balloon. Through His spirit He pushes us air molecules to do His work in expanding His Kingdom. Just as there are air molecules at the surface of the balloon and air molecules in the middle of the balloon, so there are people who go out to the ends of the earth and people who work within the community. All work together for the same cause, to expand the balloon. All powered by the same source, God. Therefore let us be like-minded, not jealous of each other's ministries, but all working together for one purpose as Kingdom-minded people. For we are all in this balloon together :)
13.10.09
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." - Mark 12:30
.. help me grow my affections towards You, grow my understanding in You, and grow my boldness for You to put words into action.
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by His grace, being in the Lord is enough. doing comes from the overflow. Lord let me overflow. I am ready.
12.10.09
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." - Mark 11:22-24
"I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields - and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first." - Mark 10:29-31
11.10.09
How Deep Sovereign Grace (Valley of Vision)
You were broken that I might be healed You were cast off that I might draw near You were thirsty that I might come drink Cried out in anguish that I might sing
How deep is Your love How high and how wide is Your mercy How deep is Your grace Our hearts overflow with praise To You
You knew darkness that I might know light Wept great tears that mine might be dried Stripped of glory that I might be clothed Crushed by Your Father to call me Your own
I was reading through mark 3 this morning and verses 11-12 really stood out for me.
"Whenever the evil spirits saw him, they fell down before him and cried out, "You are the Son of God." But he gave them strict orders not to tell who he was." mark3:11-12
In the movies we're used to seeing the epic battle play out between good and evil. We know at the bottom of our hearts that in the end good will always triumph. But throughout the movie, we can`t help but feel slightly worried for our hero and ambassador of good. Our hearts tighten, fists clench, and our minds go racing at the wonder of how good could possibly win over evil when they`re always seemingly shorthanded..
This is NOT the case in reality! There is NO close battle between good and evil. Evil has NO upperhand against good. In fact evil never even stood a chance, for the battle has already been won by our Lord Jesus Christ! Even more than that, evil cowers & trembles at the sight of our God. In what movie would the villain obey the hero's orders? none! Only in reality.
And so i sit here greatly encouraged by His great triumph! In Him and through Him we can do ALL things for He has already gone before us and fought the great fight. Therefore how much more shall we be spurred on to walk in the light of our faith through Jesus Christ our Lord :)
27.9.09
"Prayer is not about how big your problems are, it's about how big our God is!" -- Pastor Steve.
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How amazing it is to think that grace upon grace is lavished on us. Not just His saving grace through Christ's death on the cross. No, more than that! We also receive his empowering grace. The same great divine power that raised Christ from the dead is in us (!) - working guiding revealing moulding & empowering all who believe. How I pray I may be able to truly take hold of this promise. May I walk in faith with furious boldness. ..but sometimes I just don't even know what boldness looks like.. please crack my shell, let me out of this cage of safe..
20.9.09
"We are to be spiritual scarecrows, warding away Satan before he has a chance to snatch the seed in our hearts thus preventing growth and fruitfulness" - Pastor Steve
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Today in service it hit me real hard, just how powerful the gospel truly is! Thank you God that through Your Word you have given us all we need in life in regards to direction, how to live & love, more than that, how to ward off Satan, for Your word strengthens, refines, builds, and protects. It is the true truth, no it is the only truth in all the universe. It is more than mere words, it is the POWER of Christ revealed to us for the salvation of all who believe. Your words do more than inform, they transform! And so for that, all I can say is thank you. Continue to search & sieve through my life, empty out my old ways of thinking and being, and transform me to the way of life holy and pleasing to You.
19.9.09
through & through, i am a work in progress.. help me continue to work out my salvation with fear & trembling, for it is You who works in me to will and to act according to Your good purpose phil2:12-13.
18.7.09
so we have this Lifecourse Assignment thingy due on monday, and my brain is going through explosive diarrhea. everything i write is quite crappy lol. actually, maybe its writer's constipation, cuz nothings comin out.. :( ... today we had sunday school training from 10-3pm. before we left in the morning, i took some time to just rethink my sunday school experiences, my childhood experiences, and how HUGE it was for me to learn about Jesus' love. as a sunday school teacher, its too easy to slip into that zone of routine and you start to think that nothing you teach or say will actually make an impact, not an immediate one at least. but oh how wrong that is...
17.7.09
today i saw him. i saw him walk in and my heart stopped for a second. and then the moment passed and i walked away. i guess thats the way life is - things here and there will catch you out of nowhere and you pause for a second, but in the end you can't stay standing still forever, you just have to keep on moving forward.
unfortunately, this week has been one very long pause for me. i just wanted time to stop, and it did in a way. i hermited myself at home, and kind of became enveloped in some sort of state of self-pity while being immobilized by a complete sense of apathy. how sad. but thank God he pulled me out. Finally at the end of it all, i feel like i've found myself. for a second i thought i lost it when i became a child with no voice and no choice. but perhaps instead of seeing things from the bottom of this well, i ought to step out and see the greater picture. God's plan for me is not limited by anything. I ought to stop focusing on that which is not important in the grand scheme of things, even though its kinda hard to do.
thank you housemates. i've been an emotional ball this week. but i think i'm doing better..
6.7.09
I just finished reading Unbreakable, a biography of Steve Cattell, a criminal from Britain who broke free from the chains of addiction - his addiction being to crime.
2 things struck me from this book. (1) how REAL the power of prayer is (& persistance goes a long way). (2) churchianity blows...
Throughout the later part of Steve's life, a friend of his who was an ex-convict now turned born-again Christian, was praying long & hard for Steve. Not only just praying but also preaching and reaching out many arms, arms bearing truth of the gospel and a higher love who was asking him to repent his sins and become clean. He did this so much to the point where Steve kinda got sick of hearing it all, but despite that, those seeds were sown, and Steve at his breaking point decided that maybe just maybe his friend was saying something true and so he tried calling out to God in help. God answered. and through revelation upon revelation, Steve repented and committed his life fully to the work of the Lord.
"so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near." Acts 17:27 Msg
When Steve had become a new Christian, although he & his past lifestyle & current struggle were embraced by the pastor, still the whole congregation would keep him at a comfortable arm's distance from themselves. yes people would say hello and goodbye courteously, but beyond that, nothing. no one extended an arm to him, there were no invitations, and no interest in him & his story & life. he didn't speak Churchinese like the others, he was just different, and so he'd just be left out.. to the point where he'd go home and cry. A full grown man crying! not only that but a convict who had tried so hard his whole life to make his heart stone, to never let anything 'get to him', to not be riddled with emotions which were a sign of weakness; this was the same man who went to bed crying. wow, sad how we can be so cruel without even knowing it.. we try so hard to conform ourselves to Churchianity that we get scared whenever we see anything that's different from us. we forget about Christ and his unfailing love for all, especially for those who never fit into the cookie cutter mold of things.
1.7.09
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him,and his righteousness with their children's children -- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts. --psalm 103:8-12,17-18
