:)

i should be sleeping right now, but i just can't. i'm filled with so much.. excitement i think & this energetic kind of joy for the now and what's to come.

so blessed to have had 2 brothers from SMBC (Sydney Missionary & Bible College) share life with our community group tonight. it was mask-off, genuine and real. it was sort of a taste of what our group could be like, and what we ought to be like... like family who shares life together. so thankful for this openness to be modelled for us by these guys who live out Jesus not just on Sundays, not just during personal time with God, not just with their own church & friends, but also with us, who are technically complete strangers. really thankful for their questions to prod the inner workings of our hearts... and their honestness in answering. you just can't help but see their genuine love for God bubbling out.

i was really moved tonight. only hours before when i went out for a run to clear my head, was i downtrodden at how such silly trivial things can be so magnified and centralized by people, and by me. but oh how i see the big picture yet again... and i was reminded of the story of how God pursued me and won my heart over. this accompanied with the flood of emotion of pure love and joy and immense warmth to the core from going back in time. i couldn't help it as we read through a passage in Psalms. it was the same passage that got me through a lot. Thank you for this reminder. I know in my head, but i think sometimes i forget in my heart this all-enveloping love that God has for us, the love that His Son would willingly die in my place so that I might be brought into God's family. and it doesn't stop there. but it's a love we are called to live out. i'm reminded i need to constantly go back to the cross. it's such a phrase that's always thrown around.. but so important. to remember who i was and know who i am, and that without God i am nothing and can do nothing. that and I need to constantly die to myself, my pride, my ambitions, my selfishness, my sinful ways of heart & mind. that He is the one i live for; He abides in me and I in Him. and this so that i can overflow with His love to others.

and so i sit here now... full of excitement & joy. i'm really excited about our 5:17 Church family and where we're going. i'm really excited about God's good news for all, the power to save us from our doomed selves. i'm really excited about the future and the plans God has in store for me and my brothers & sisters. and i sit here also reminded again, being zipped back in time to when i was sitting on a pew at church almost 5 years ago with huge heaviness & conviction.. a call He had put on my heart. 5 years later, it's still there, that same conviction. and i'm here again Lord, begging that you'd send me. please mark out my steps. forgive me for worrying and having such a need to know what'll happen in the future way of thinking. help me take things one day at a time as you prepare a way for me

i've just started mental health rotation and today found out i'm placed at HADS (Hospital Alcohol & Drug Service) for the next two weeks.

purely providential and completely elated!

human trafficking, early rumblings.

Perfect timing and pure providence (and the willingness of K to drive me out to Salvos after bursting into her room and waking her from her slumber) brought me to a workshop yesterday on human trafficking here in Australia - something that happens in our backyards, completely under our noses, though many times so visible. Often, when I hear the words sex/human trafficking, I feel so removed from it as if its something that goes on in 'other parts' of the world, surely not here. and plus, the enormity of the problem is so far-reaching, where do you even begin to process it all?

The statistics are mind-blowing.

• 1.2 million children are trafficked every year
• 95% of victims experience physical or sexual violence during trafficking
• 2.5 million people are in forced labour at any given time as a result of trafficking
• 30 billion dollars from profits worldwide annually

I get lost in all these numbers, but I really loved what one of the ladies i met said... "All that matters is the one.. And working, advocating for, supporting, loving that 'one' is what counts."

I found it helpful learning of the red flags and indicators, and how it requires looking beneath the surface issues, or presenting complaints to identify potential victims (not in far away countries, but even here in Australia). These can include wage disputes, domestic violence, assault & emergency care, attempted suicide, homelessness, those seeking welfare assistance to name a few. All victims held hostage where shackles and chains have now been substituted by debt bondage, threats of deportation, withholding key documents, threats to family members, verbal abuse & humiliation, isolation, physical violence and sexual assault. Sinister modern chains that aim to crush the spirit until their humanity and sense of will are entirely stolen.

found it really useful knowing what services and organizations are out there that aim to support men and women who find themselves as victims in this trade.

• Fair Work Ombudsman.
• The role of the Australian Federal Police, with their Human Trafficking Teams (and other resources found on their website)
• The role of the Red Cross (accessed through AFP), in supporting trafficked people help access emergency accommodation, healthcare & welfare needs, and psychological services
• Project Respect (who specifically support women in the sex industry)
• The Anti-Slavery Project

Definitely hope to chew on these things more. But ever so grateful to God for letting this opportunity pop into my lap. Such a gift to be educated, enlightened, and to meet some incredibly beautiful & inspiring ladies who truly shine Jesus inside out. I think I had the most honest, vulnerable, soul-moving, heart-bonding car-ride talks ever while on my way back home after the workshop. A conversation like a tiny drop of water in the ocean of time, but with lasting heart ripples. Beautiful.

Hope to continue the conversation...

Restless.

by Jon Foreman.

The voice of the sea on a moonless night

Calling, falling, slipping tides

The voice of leaky, dripping pipes
Endless, aching drops of light

Running, pushing falling down
Always longing, always now

Silent underneath these streets
Even blood finds ways to bleed

Even rivers ways to run
Even rain to reach the sun

Even here within these means
Within this skin, within these dreams

Longing for the other shore
The world we've never been before

Restless for the infinite
With tears of saints and hypocrites

For death and life, for night and day
With blood of black and white and grey

One by one by one by one
Our rivers surge and fight and run

Until the sea of glass we meet
At last completed and complete

Where tide and tear and pain subside
And joy and laughter drink them dry

i feel this curtain slowly unveiling. inch by inch by inch, the eyes of my heart are beginning to see the picture You're painting.

transform these deep seeds into something beautiful. let it not sprout then whither in the cold air, but protect and grow it for Your purposes

fill me with compassion and unrest not deadened by complacency and blinded by self-fulfillment or even normalcy. let me be passionate for your glory but never proud in myself, to be content in all life throws but never comfortable lest i forget Your heart. help me do the hard hours on my knees until You break me and pour through every dark crack, crevice and hidden corner of my being. that i would be the paint and You the Painter.