23.8.08
2.8.08
c'est la vie.
transition sucks. change stinks. letting go is tough. c'est la vie.
yesterday i was sitting on the couch by myself.. re-living all the memories i've stashed up over these past 4 years. and of course, just thinking of it all, brought me to tears yet again. i don't think i've ever cried so much in a given week. and worst of all, i feel alone in this feeling of mine. no one gets it... well except for you joyce and of course God. ...everyone seems to be from toronto (or around the toronto area), so its no big deal to enter that next stage in life, seeing as that next stage looks pretty much the same as the stage before.... still being surrounded by friends old and new. before coming here, my closest friends weren't Christian, and it didn't help that my youth fellowship at church consisted of 4 people, all of whom were at a different stage in their walks than me. so really back then, the only one who i had true fellowship with was God. it wasn't till i came to Queen's where God showed me what it meant to have true fellowship with other people. and although he showed me what it looked like... boy was it hard to actually follow through..... seeing as it involved being vulnerable, being able to look within myself and actually know myself fully. cuz in all honesty, even now, i still don't know who i am. but throughout this whole year, God was slowly tugging at me to open up to myself and then to you. I'm definitely a work in progress. Understatement of a lifetime. It's my prayer that in the years to come, i can embrace the past not as something which defines me, but as something that has shaped me. I pray there'd be a key to this locked heart of mine. I pray that I'd learn to know myself fully... before I've always rested in the fact that God knew me better than I knew myself. But now it's my prayer that God would reveal to me who it is that He made me to be.
I know its wrong to say that I'm scared...but the fact is I am. I'm scared of leaving everything and everyone behind. I'm scared of friendships growing distant. I'm scared of never finding someone as good as you in my life. I'm scared of entering this next phase where really i have no gameplan going into it. Funny how for so long I've prayed to God that he would never keep me "comfortable" with where I am... but that He would continually stretch me beyond my boundaries so that I can grow. and although a part of me wishes i never prayed those prayers... the better part of me knows this is something we'll all have to go through in order to grow. ...to learn to let go in order to embrace what it is that God has in store for us. And as a good friend reminded me, despite friendships and relationships coming and going, despite my relocating halfway round the world, despite things constantly changing and being changed around me.... the one thing i can cling to that will forever remain the same is my God. ....And so I will hold fast to the promise and refuge i have underneath His everlasting arms, which covers all doubt and fear and stretches from before birth to beyond death.
but still...Wow, I'm really gonna miss you guys. funny how its raining outside. kinda reflects the status of my heart right now...
yesterday i was sitting on the couch by myself.. re-living all the memories i've stashed up over these past 4 years. and of course, just thinking of it all, brought me to tears yet again. i don't think i've ever cried so much in a given week. and worst of all, i feel alone in this feeling of mine. no one gets it... well except for you joyce and of course God. ...everyone seems to be from toronto (or around the toronto area), so its no big deal to enter that next stage in life, seeing as that next stage looks pretty much the same as the stage before.... still being surrounded by friends old and new. before coming here, my closest friends weren't Christian, and it didn't help that my youth fellowship at church consisted of 4 people, all of whom were at a different stage in their walks than me. so really back then, the only one who i had true fellowship with was God. it wasn't till i came to Queen's where God showed me what it meant to have true fellowship with other people. and although he showed me what it looked like... boy was it hard to actually follow through..... seeing as it involved being vulnerable, being able to look within myself and actually know myself fully. cuz in all honesty, even now, i still don't know who i am. but throughout this whole year, God was slowly tugging at me to open up to myself and then to you. I'm definitely a work in progress. Understatement of a lifetime. It's my prayer that in the years to come, i can embrace the past not as something which defines me, but as something that has shaped me. I pray there'd be a key to this locked heart of mine. I pray that I'd learn to know myself fully... before I've always rested in the fact that God knew me better than I knew myself. But now it's my prayer that God would reveal to me who it is that He made me to be.
I know its wrong to say that I'm scared...but the fact is I am. I'm scared of leaving everything and everyone behind. I'm scared of friendships growing distant. I'm scared of never finding someone as good as you in my life. I'm scared of entering this next phase where really i have no gameplan going into it. Funny how for so long I've prayed to God that he would never keep me "comfortable" with where I am... but that He would continually stretch me beyond my boundaries so that I can grow. and although a part of me wishes i never prayed those prayers... the better part of me knows this is something we'll all have to go through in order to grow. ...to learn to let go in order to embrace what it is that God has in store for us. And as a good friend reminded me, despite friendships and relationships coming and going, despite my relocating halfway round the world, despite things constantly changing and being changed around me.... the one thing i can cling to that will forever remain the same is my God. ....And so I will hold fast to the promise and refuge i have underneath His everlasting arms, which covers all doubt and fear and stretches from before birth to beyond death.
but still...Wow, I'm really gonna miss you guys. funny how its raining outside. kinda reflects the status of my heart right now...
11.5.08
on the phone with my mother a few days ago, she told me about my great-grandparents. i've never heard much about them before. and then to find out that the first missionaries who came to Korea were medical missionaries... and God used these missionaries to facilitate conviction and conversion in my great-grandparent's hearts to walk in the faith. and then, for them to build 10 churches throughout their lifetime. not only that, but they were the reason why my grandfather was inspired to go into medicine... just as i am inspired to go into medicine because of my grandfather. wow! i find that so amazing! and to think this all started with a missionary named Dr. Underwood... when i get to heaven, i will be sure to thank him for taking that huge cross-cultural leap of faith in bringing the message to Korea...and ultimately allowing salvation to pour out over 4 generations!
so as i sat on my seat at church today on Mother's day, i was thinking about my great-grandmother, my grandmother and finally my mother. I look at the lives they lead, the pillars of faith that they are... and i think to myself how I wish i may be as faithful, devoted, and God-fearing as they are.
on this special day of Mother's Day, I thank God first and foremost for giving me my mother,as well as my mother's mother, and my grandmother's mother... that through all these three women, God's love and passion were exemplified in their lives. through these 3 women, a fear and devotion to follow Jesus Christ was instilled and passed down from generation to generation. Thank you Holy Father for these mothers. and Thank you Father in heaven for my dearest mother, who has been my joy, my confidante, my solace, my encouragement in this life. What a beautiful woman you have made her to be. Bless her Lord I pray.
Happy Mother's Day.
so as i sat on my seat at church today on Mother's day, i was thinking about my great-grandmother, my grandmother and finally my mother. I look at the lives they lead, the pillars of faith that they are... and i think to myself how I wish i may be as faithful, devoted, and God-fearing as they are.
on this special day of Mother's Day, I thank God first and foremost for giving me my mother,as well as my mother's mother, and my grandmother's mother... that through all these three women, God's love and passion were exemplified in their lives. through these 3 women, a fear and devotion to follow Jesus Christ was instilled and passed down from generation to generation. Thank you Holy Father for these mothers. and Thank you Father in heaven for my dearest mother, who has been my joy, my confidante, my solace, my encouragement in this life. What a beautiful woman you have made her to be. Bless her Lord I pray.
Happy Mother's Day.
6.5.08
3.5.08
24.4.08
thoughts:
what's "best" for me... may not actually be what's best for me.
although parents want the best for me... they may not know what is actually the best for me.
Only God my Father knows and wants and makes out what's best for me.
HE is sovereign. HE is merciful and mighty. HE is in control of ALL things.
who cares what ppl think... even if they are the most dearest and closest people in my life.. the only person who matters is You Lord. Only You. At times i remember when i was younger... how truly you were the only one who mattered above all else and above whom else... I pray i have that kind of faith again... child-like faith to trust NOT in the things of this world... to trust NOT in earthly wisdom...but to trust only in the Lord's wisdom. I cling to your promises Lord.. that you will draw near to those who seek you. That you are merciful and mighty and kind to your children.. to those who listen and know Your voice.
Let this be a trial where my faith has been tested and refined. Deliver me through this doubt and untrust. Forgive me Father for I am weak.
what's "best" for me... may not actually be what's best for me.
although parents want the best for me... they may not know what is actually the best for me.
Only God my Father knows and wants and makes out what's best for me.
HE is sovereign. HE is merciful and mighty. HE is in control of ALL things.
who cares what ppl think... even if they are the most dearest and closest people in my life.. the only person who matters is You Lord. Only You. At times i remember when i was younger... how truly you were the only one who mattered above all else and above whom else... I pray i have that kind of faith again... child-like faith to trust NOT in the things of this world... to trust NOT in earthly wisdom...but to trust only in the Lord's wisdom. I cling to your promises Lord.. that you will draw near to those who seek you. That you are merciful and mighty and kind to your children.. to those who listen and know Your voice.
Let this be a trial where my faith has been tested and refined. Deliver me through this doubt and untrust. Forgive me Father for I am weak.
18.4.08
17.4.08
"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
~James 4:13-17
~James 4:13-17
7.4.08
last night was full of emo-ness.
after ranting long and hard to the big G... i got nothing back except silence.
frustration.
frustration over a relationship that slammed shut, though it never even began.
frustration over not knowing where I'll be and what I'll be doing come september.
frustration over friendships that will be lost.
ultimately.
frustration over change and uncertainty.
but then he gave me a verse. Isaiah 48:21
"They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts;
he made water flow for them from the rock;
he split the rock
and water gushed out."
wow. that's powerful no? i close my eyes and try to picture it... water gushing forth out of rocks. absolutely unbelievable. but of course we can expect nothing less from our almighty Father. it reminded me that despite uncertainty, despite change, all will be okay in my Father's arms. For He was and is the Designer and Creator of this universe. He made water flow from rocks. He does the impossible and will always provide for those who love Him.
therefore.
frustration has lessoned.
although i must say, i'm still finding it hard to let go of him. I guess this is a test ... to learn not to hold onto things of this earth so tightly. to not place hopes in people but to only place our hopes in the one and only constant thing we can depend on here in this life. Jesus.
after ranting long and hard to the big G... i got nothing back except silence.
frustration.
frustration over a relationship that slammed shut, though it never even began.
frustration over not knowing where I'll be and what I'll be doing come september.
frustration over friendships that will be lost.
ultimately.
frustration over change and uncertainty.
but then he gave me a verse. Isaiah 48:21
"They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts;
he made water flow for them from the rock;
he split the rock
and water gushed out."
wow. that's powerful no? i close my eyes and try to picture it... water gushing forth out of rocks. absolutely unbelievable. but of course we can expect nothing less from our almighty Father. it reminded me that despite uncertainty, despite change, all will be okay in my Father's arms. For He was and is the Designer and Creator of this universe. He made water flow from rocks. He does the impossible and will always provide for those who love Him.
therefore.
frustration has lessoned.
although i must say, i'm still finding it hard to let go of him. I guess this is a test ... to learn not to hold onto things of this earth so tightly. to not place hopes in people but to only place our hopes in the one and only constant thing we can depend on here in this life. Jesus.
2.4.08
tonight i went to city wide praise & worship here in Kingston before the kickoff of IWT (impact world tour)
wow. that's all i can say. so many thoughts so many revelations hit me tonight, that i must write these down lest i forget.
to see young and old, rich and poor, protestant and catholic ... to see ALL these people from all over kingston come and worship our God together - how beautiful a sight that is. I can't explain it in words... but looking out before me, i saw hands lifted high everywhere, i saw eyes gazing at the opened gates of heaven, i saw hearts blooming and ready to go FORTH to the missionfield!! God is working HERE and NOW no doubt about that. God is BIGGER, SO MUCH BIGGER than we could and can ever imagine. I feel so self-centered as a university student.. i feel that all of us studying here in Queen's, we're all so self-absorbed that we can't see how we fit into the bigger picture of this city... how we actually ARE a part of this town - although we are students, we still belong to this community, albeit for a short while. The talk around campus has been unity.. yet i feel i myself have been so blinded to the greater picture God has in front of us. The unity of our entire city, the unity of all the townships around Kingston, the unity of this province, the unity of this country. GOD is SO BIG! Just like he came and conquered cities within the old and new testaments, so He will come and conquer Kingston! He has made his claim on this city, and now we must go forth and do his work... not 4 months from now, but NOW, for the harvest is ripe!
Today they shared some stories that have already been happening throughout this campaign! They've visited 4 prisons and already 50 prisoners have responded to the alter call with tears and hands raised up in repentance. They also visited Senior homes and already 80-100 elderly people gave their lives up to Jesus! All this has been happening without us knowing. He truly does dance all around us without us ever really noticing.
We sang the song Holy is the Lord God Almighty. and the part where it says "Together we sing; everyone sing... " it really hit me hard. While we were singing this phrase, i opened my eyes and looked before me... and my heart truly SAW what these words meant! One day, this WHOLE WORLD will join together and declare that yes Holy IS the Lord God Almighty. It was just so amazing to sing TOGETHER these words... Christians in Kingston coming together and proclaiming that our God indeed does reign. Just as Jesus prayed for his disciples in John, so we are doing now... the Christians of Kingston are being united as one!
"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." - John 17:6-19
God can do HUGE things. we must DREAM BIG because our God is a BIG God. I remember someone in ccf saying this, but i remember reading it somewhere before I heard it in ccf... i think it may have been john piper... or matt redman? but ya, it's SO TRUE! We should Dream great dreams for God. We shouldn't dream small dreams, but Dream big dreams... dreams worthy of our big God! For it is not by power, nor by might, but by the SPIRIT of God who can do all things! And I see the big dream that many in Kingston have been praying over! The dream that Kingston will be claimed as the Lords' once and for all. That this city will unite together and become a holy city!
God will be doing great things, HUGE things, but are we ready to jump out of the boat in faith?
wow. that's all i can say. so many thoughts so many revelations hit me tonight, that i must write these down lest i forget.
to see young and old, rich and poor, protestant and catholic ... to see ALL these people from all over kingston come and worship our God together - how beautiful a sight that is. I can't explain it in words... but looking out before me, i saw hands lifted high everywhere, i saw eyes gazing at the opened gates of heaven, i saw hearts blooming and ready to go FORTH to the missionfield!! God is working HERE and NOW no doubt about that. God is BIGGER, SO MUCH BIGGER than we could and can ever imagine. I feel so self-centered as a university student.. i feel that all of us studying here in Queen's, we're all so self-absorbed that we can't see how we fit into the bigger picture of this city... how we actually ARE a part of this town - although we are students, we still belong to this community, albeit for a short while. The talk around campus has been unity.. yet i feel i myself have been so blinded to the greater picture God has in front of us. The unity of our entire city, the unity of all the townships around Kingston, the unity of this province, the unity of this country. GOD is SO BIG! Just like he came and conquered cities within the old and new testaments, so He will come and conquer Kingston! He has made his claim on this city, and now we must go forth and do his work... not 4 months from now, but NOW, for the harvest is ripe!
Today they shared some stories that have already been happening throughout this campaign! They've visited 4 prisons and already 50 prisoners have responded to the alter call with tears and hands raised up in repentance. They also visited Senior homes and already 80-100 elderly people gave their lives up to Jesus! All this has been happening without us knowing. He truly does dance all around us without us ever really noticing.
We sang the song Holy is the Lord God Almighty. and the part where it says "Together we sing; everyone sing... " it really hit me hard. While we were singing this phrase, i opened my eyes and looked before me... and my heart truly SAW what these words meant! One day, this WHOLE WORLD will join together and declare that yes Holy IS the Lord God Almighty. It was just so amazing to sing TOGETHER these words... Christians in Kingston coming together and proclaiming that our God indeed does reign. Just as Jesus prayed for his disciples in John, so we are doing now... the Christians of Kingston are being united as one!
"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." - John 17:6-19
God can do HUGE things. we must DREAM BIG because our God is a BIG God. I remember someone in ccf saying this, but i remember reading it somewhere before I heard it in ccf... i think it may have been john piper... or matt redman? but ya, it's SO TRUE! We should Dream great dreams for God. We shouldn't dream small dreams, but Dream big dreams... dreams worthy of our big God! For it is not by power, nor by might, but by the SPIRIT of God who can do all things! And I see the big dream that many in Kingston have been praying over! The dream that Kingston will be claimed as the Lords' once and for all. That this city will unite together and become a holy city!
God will be doing great things, HUGE things, but are we ready to jump out of the boat in faith?
19.3.08
today i was walking home... and it dawned on me... a sort of liberating thought..
we are not our own.
we were never our own.
for before we were born, He purchased us.
I've never actually fully understood what this meant. but it actually just hit me today in midst of all the rain. As the water droplets were lightly dancing on my face, it felt like a cleansing had taken place. a re-re-birth. a burden lifted. wow. how freeing that is no? looking at that perspective, why do i ever need to worry about anything in life... for this is His purchased life that I am living. I am His. I am not my own.
I hope this world never hardens my heart to You. I hope this joy I have in You is never replaced with cynicism or negativity. I hope I always wake up each day with a smile on my face, for it is a new day that I get the chance to live for You! no matter where I end up, may your work be done in me. I am content. wow. I am so content that it kinda freaks me out.
we are not our own.
we were never our own.
for before we were born, He purchased us.
I've never actually fully understood what this meant. but it actually just hit me today in midst of all the rain. As the water droplets were lightly dancing on my face, it felt like a cleansing had taken place. a re-re-birth. a burden lifted. wow. how freeing that is no? looking at that perspective, why do i ever need to worry about anything in life... for this is His purchased life that I am living. I am His. I am not my own.
I hope this world never hardens my heart to You. I hope this joy I have in You is never replaced with cynicism or negativity. I hope I always wake up each day with a smile on my face, for it is a new day that I get the chance to live for You! no matter where I end up, may your work be done in me. I am content. wow. I am so content that it kinda freaks me out.
24.2.08
it seems so unfair. that you meet such a wonderful group of people, and have 24 hours of awesomeness, only to realize that you're probably never going to see them ever again after you leave. wow. how sad that is. . . . . . .. i like markham. i think i shall go back sometime soon :) maybe i will see them again then.
6.2.08
i love kcac.
i think if i leave here, i'll be most sad about leaving this church.
in all honesty, if i had never gotten to know the chinese side, i wouldn't have felt at HOME as i feel now with this church. it's crazy. how do all those aunties and uncles remember our names? ... but ya, tonight we had dumpling night. and wow. it was amazing. seeing SOOO Many people come out, but not only that, seeing so many new faces! what a great way to reach out to co-workers, friends, even students. i felt sad.. really really sad that there were only 2 people from the english congregation who came out. we truly did miss out on an amazing night. a night where i felt part of a family. you step in and the aroma of good food hits you ! then when you head downstairs, so many friendly faces, so many warm handshakes and hugs :) i love kcac.
i think if i leave here, i'll be most sad about leaving this church.
in all honesty, if i had never gotten to know the chinese side, i wouldn't have felt at HOME as i feel now with this church. it's crazy. how do all those aunties and uncles remember our names? ... but ya, tonight we had dumpling night. and wow. it was amazing. seeing SOOO Many people come out, but not only that, seeing so many new faces! what a great way to reach out to co-workers, friends, even students. i felt sad.. really really sad that there were only 2 people from the english congregation who came out. we truly did miss out on an amazing night. a night where i felt part of a family. you step in and the aroma of good food hits you ! then when you head downstairs, so many friendly faces, so many warm handshakes and hugs :) i love kcac.
4.2.08
praise god :)
i just wanted to jot down a few praise items so i won't forget in the future how God is working in my life :)
firstly, last week was crazy busy for me. ... well in retrospect, definitely not as crazy as i thought it was while in the midst of things. but God gave me 2 huge breaks. first by cancelling work on wednesday... crazy timing that my co-workers at the last minute cancelled the meeting eh? well maybe not so much craziness as WOW-NESS for God's mercy for me :) THEN, when i stepped outside on wednesday (keep in mind that during this day there was a crazy crazy snowstorm with wind blowing at who knows how fast and so much snow that you really couldn't see what was in front of you!) anyways, THAT was the day of wednesday, but when i stepped outside, i dunno how, but it was absolutely beautiful at that moment! the sun was shining so brilliantly, the snow was floating by my face , the wind was still... it was breathtaking.
then on Sunday. we had no a/v person to help out with things. in addition, setting up sound was ESPECIALLY SLOW cuz of the EM the day before, and to add, our drummer fell sick that morning! But lo and behold, God was faithful in hearing our prayers! He provided both a drummer & an a/v person .... and it was just so wonderful worshipping our God through songs and praise. My team is so awesome in that although i'm their 'worship leader' ... really they're a self-run team. I wish ppl in our congregation could see what i see when i'm up there. to see a whole body worship our God together ... it's just so amazing. i picture the sweet fragrant of songs of praise and worship being raised up to the heavens by each and every church in this world.. How beautiful it would be from God's viewpoint in heaven eh? to hear , smell, take in, and be glorified through all the fragrances rising up to the heavens, joining and combining as one to form the most sweetest , most beautiful fragrant of all!
Lastly, I thank God for today. after prayer meeting, i read for a bit, then fell asleep.. only to wake up to a girl walking in hoping to pray. i offered to pray with her... and i dunno how , but it was AMAZING! just being able to share with her, to pray with her, to have fellowship with her no matter which campus christian group she came from! it really taught me something special about the unity within the Body. the fact that it truly is Christ who ties all of us together, and honestly that is the only lifeline that is needed :) how wonderful to be able to have a time of fellowship not with just a complete ' stranger' .. but rather with a sister in Christ :)
Praise be to God for all these things! He's constantly working, constantly moving, and constantly answering prayers! I'm excited to see what new things He will be doing throughout this next week :)
firstly, last week was crazy busy for me. ... well in retrospect, definitely not as crazy as i thought it was while in the midst of things. but God gave me 2 huge breaks. first by cancelling work on wednesday... crazy timing that my co-workers at the last minute cancelled the meeting eh? well maybe not so much craziness as WOW-NESS for God's mercy for me :) THEN, when i stepped outside on wednesday (keep in mind that during this day there was a crazy crazy snowstorm with wind blowing at who knows how fast and so much snow that you really couldn't see what was in front of you!) anyways, THAT was the day of wednesday, but when i stepped outside, i dunno how, but it was absolutely beautiful at that moment! the sun was shining so brilliantly, the snow was floating by my face , the wind was still... it was breathtaking.
then on Sunday. we had no a/v person to help out with things. in addition, setting up sound was ESPECIALLY SLOW cuz of the EM the day before, and to add, our drummer fell sick that morning! But lo and behold, God was faithful in hearing our prayers! He provided both a drummer & an a/v person .... and it was just so wonderful worshipping our God through songs and praise. My team is so awesome in that although i'm their 'worship leader' ... really they're a self-run team. I wish ppl in our congregation could see what i see when i'm up there. to see a whole body worship our God together ... it's just so amazing. i picture the sweet fragrant of songs of praise and worship being raised up to the heavens by each and every church in this world.. How beautiful it would be from God's viewpoint in heaven eh? to hear , smell, take in, and be glorified through all the fragrances rising up to the heavens, joining and combining as one to form the most sweetest , most beautiful fragrant of all!
Lastly, I thank God for today. after prayer meeting, i read for a bit, then fell asleep.. only to wake up to a girl walking in hoping to pray. i offered to pray with her... and i dunno how , but it was AMAZING! just being able to share with her, to pray with her, to have fellowship with her no matter which campus christian group she came from! it really taught me something special about the unity within the Body. the fact that it truly is Christ who ties all of us together, and honestly that is the only lifeline that is needed :) how wonderful to be able to have a time of fellowship not with just a complete ' stranger' .. but rather with a sister in Christ :)
Praise be to God for all these things! He's constantly working, constantly moving, and constantly answering prayers! I'm excited to see what new things He will be doing throughout this next week :)
30.1.08
23.1.08
God is very merciful. I personally attest to His mercy time in time out. Funny how when i lose confidence in myself (which is often) , he is always there to put me back on my feet... he's always there to show me another door, to give me another chance. i need to work on communication... so much goes unsaid, intentions are mis-read, feelings get hurt. not a good thing.
8.1.08
courtesy of a friend (unbeknownst to her), i've been reading this book she left behind during christmas break. unfortunately i didn't get the chance to finish reading it over break, but i'm about halfway through, and its amazing. the book is entitled "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made" , written by Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey. its slowly revealing to me a whole new conception of what the body of Christ truly is. funny how God who full well knew the parallels before we could even comprehend what a cell was, created our bodies.... with the Body of Christ in his mind.
as i start a new year, i hope to grow in this understanding of who i am and how i fit into his bigger picture. how he is even possible to use me in all i lack, and in all my inadequacies.... i cannot even imagine or understand.
time and time again, Jesus cleanses our sins so that we may be reconciled with the Father. just as he forgives us, so in turn he asks us to forgive others. let's begin this new year afresh. let us put out our old yeast. let us get rid of our old wineskins. let us learn how to love each other and live with other again.
i pray he'd help me this year to discern and really look deep within myself to know and understand exactly who it is that He created me to be.
as i start a new year, i hope to grow in this understanding of who i am and how i fit into his bigger picture. how he is even possible to use me in all i lack, and in all my inadequacies.... i cannot even imagine or understand.
time and time again, Jesus cleanses our sins so that we may be reconciled with the Father. just as he forgives us, so in turn he asks us to forgive others. let's begin this new year afresh. let us put out our old yeast. let us get rid of our old wineskins. let us learn how to love each other and live with other again.
i pray he'd help me this year to discern and really look deep within myself to know and understand exactly who it is that He created me to be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)