why do ppl have to make things so complicated? life is simple, or at least it should be. but i guess things are done for a reason or rather ppl have their own logic/reasoning behind their actions, and so i should just stop caring & stop letting it get to me.. but i can't help but feel hurt because of it..
31.10.09
a friend introduced me to some christian rap a few weeks ago. in the past i was always turned off by it, it wasn't all that pretty or nice to listen to, cuz there's no nice melodic tune. but these days, i'm finding myself listening to more & more christian rap! i think the majority of the songs on my mp3 player now is rap! so strange! i'm starting to like it more cuz its like listening to a story, or someone talking to me. there's more words, so it fits more umph & more meat into the lyrics. listening to rap is like eating a very thick slab of steak vs. a deliciously delicate slice of fish. both are tastey, but sit differently in the stomach. :) rap or no rap, yay for music!
29.10.09
The doctor I'm working with has what seems like an arsenal of bible verses stored & constantly being put to use. He quotes verses left right and center. In consultations he'll bring up verses sometimes unbeknownst to the patient, for there are such pearls of wisdom buried in those pages. That and the combination of Pastor Steve's urging of 517ers to memorize bible verses has pushed me & encouraged me to start! I asked Dr. Reece how he memorizes bible verses, and he gave me this analogy (he likes using analogies, a LOT)
"Reading the Bible is like being a kid in a lollyshop. Each verse is like a lolly that you just suck on, letting it melt in your mouth" - Dr. R
It's one thing to understand a verse in mind & thought, it's a whole other thing to connect with it in heart & soul. Often I find I don't give enough heart time to connect with verses in the bible.. I'm always rushed to 'get the verse' versus letting the verse get me, if that makes any sense. I just need to give myself more time. Hopefully waking up early will help with that.
On another note, I gave blood today for the very first time! After blood giving, the clinic had awesome snacks, and over snacks a friend gave me some food for thought. "No one can do it all." My whole life I've always been a multi-tasker. I've always piled things on my plate and somehow juggled it all around. And in a weird sick way, I kinda liked running around and being busy. So cuz of that, I figured that when I got older I could perhaps keep up the same multitasking deal. But i think this friend may have gotten it right. I can't do it all. If I look a little closer at my multitasking days I find that I really didn't manage everything on my plate. as things got piled on, other things slipped off and got unnoticed or halfheartedly done. i think as i get older and responsibilities become more serious i can't afford to let things slip. and so it all comes down to priorities i guess. if only there were more hours in a day.
"Reading the Bible is like being a kid in a lollyshop. Each verse is like a lolly that you just suck on, letting it melt in your mouth" - Dr. R
It's one thing to understand a verse in mind & thought, it's a whole other thing to connect with it in heart & soul. Often I find I don't give enough heart time to connect with verses in the bible.. I'm always rushed to 'get the verse' versus letting the verse get me, if that makes any sense. I just need to give myself more time. Hopefully waking up early will help with that.
On another note, I gave blood today for the very first time! After blood giving, the clinic had awesome snacks, and over snacks a friend gave me some food for thought. "No one can do it all." My whole life I've always been a multi-tasker. I've always piled things on my plate and somehow juggled it all around. And in a weird sick way, I kinda liked running around and being busy. So cuz of that, I figured that when I got older I could perhaps keep up the same multitasking deal. But i think this friend may have gotten it right. I can't do it all. If I look a little closer at my multitasking days I find that I really didn't manage everything on my plate. as things got piled on, other things slipped off and got unnoticed or halfheartedly done. i think as i get older and responsibilities become more serious i can't afford to let things slip. and so it all comes down to priorities i guess. if only there were more hours in a day.
28.10.09
Ever since Kim & Eleasa have left 'home' it's been quite busy, which I'm glad for (makes it easier not to notice i miss them). Every day has had its share of things to do. Things aside, the most inspiring chunk of the day has always happened at the clinic.
I've just started elective with Dr. R on monday, and wow! that's really all i can say right now. so much has happened, and my thinking & beliefs are being challenged each and every way (for the better!) Its only been 3 days, but as each hour passes by my heart grows more and more in love for his patients. its the opposite from what i expected.
addiction. its horrible stuff. one wrong decision, one wrong choice, and suddenly you find yourself in a downward spiral of wrong choices and a life far from what you could ever imagine, hopeless. i've learned heroin is really expensive stuff..half a gram is around $250! i've also learned people will do absolutely anything to get it. and eventually it all leads to poverty, homelessness, crime, even prostitution...ultimately pain & suffering, all because of the driving desire to get that next hit. gosh the crime lords & gangs have prolly got the most successful business out there. its disgusting.. its just not right, its like selling nooses..
one of the patients told me her addiction or rather her 'love affair' with heroin was like someone stranded in the desert for a week without a drop of water with the midday scorching sun beating down hard on her. Her mouth is so dry, her tongue feels like a cactus stuck to the roof of her mouth. But suddenly she sees an oasis! She does everything she can to get to the water. Once she arrives she drinks furiously only to find out the water is toxic. but she's too thirsty to even care..
what an image.
there's a happy ending for this lady though. she did find the truest purest source of water (as in the big G) and Dr. R probably had some say in showing her the way :) i think its easy & 'comfortable' to become stingy with the Truth. the thing is, there are so many people around us drowning - for the harvest is plenty but the workers are few. we read this, we hear this, and perhaps if we allow ourselves to open our eyes, we see this, but what comes next? we throw lifesavers out :) but i think at least for myself, even though i have a limitless supply of lifesavers i've been stingy in throwing them out. i only give them away if someone swims up to me and asks. Dr. R is the opposite. he throws as many lifesavers out as he possibly can. he doesn't even care if you're looking away or if you don't even want it, cuz sometimes even if you don't want it or need it, a few minutes later you'll start realizing you're drowning and then you'll start looking around and grab hold of that lifesaver.
on another note. one thing i've learned is its hard to ask for prayer, its so much easier to offer. therefore i oughtta be BOLD and offer! i think spiritually i've always been kinda timid. sometimes there'd be that tug to pray or to talk about Truth (with a capital T), but never had the guts to follow through. how sad. i'm learning though, not to be so shy anymore. or rather, i'm being forced not to be so shy & encouraged by what not-being-shy even looks like! i'm still kinda in a state of shock! i get to pray with patients!! how crazy awesome is that? :) iunno if i can go back to the monotony of school now that i've seen this. how i wish i could start practicing right now.
Tomorrow, Dr. R has sent me off on a 'field-trip' to a church! :) the whole organization is called Hope Foundation. it was started by one of Dr. R's patients who struggled with heroin to the point where she sold her body to get enough cash to pay for the drug. Being on a treatment program with Dr. R was only a temporary fixer-upper. It wasn't until she found God when she gave up heroin permanently, not just in her head, but in her heart. on thursdays they have a group of women who meet up, mainly women who were or are involved with addiction and the sex trade. Women broken and hurting, but healing through God's grace :) I'm excited to meet these women tmr, to hear their stories, & how God's been working in & through them! here's a video from their website:
I've just started elective with Dr. R on monday, and wow! that's really all i can say right now. so much has happened, and my thinking & beliefs are being challenged each and every way (for the better!) Its only been 3 days, but as each hour passes by my heart grows more and more in love for his patients. its the opposite from what i expected.
addiction. its horrible stuff. one wrong decision, one wrong choice, and suddenly you find yourself in a downward spiral of wrong choices and a life far from what you could ever imagine, hopeless. i've learned heroin is really expensive stuff..half a gram is around $250! i've also learned people will do absolutely anything to get it. and eventually it all leads to poverty, homelessness, crime, even prostitution...ultimately pain & suffering, all because of the driving desire to get that next hit. gosh the crime lords & gangs have prolly got the most successful business out there. its disgusting.. its just not right, its like selling nooses..
one of the patients told me her addiction or rather her 'love affair' with heroin was like someone stranded in the desert for a week without a drop of water with the midday scorching sun beating down hard on her. Her mouth is so dry, her tongue feels like a cactus stuck to the roof of her mouth. But suddenly she sees an oasis! She does everything she can to get to the water. Once she arrives she drinks furiously only to find out the water is toxic. but she's too thirsty to even care..
what an image.
there's a happy ending for this lady though. she did find the truest purest source of water (as in the big G) and Dr. R probably had some say in showing her the way :) i think its easy & 'comfortable' to become stingy with the Truth. the thing is, there are so many people around us drowning - for the harvest is plenty but the workers are few. we read this, we hear this, and perhaps if we allow ourselves to open our eyes, we see this, but what comes next? we throw lifesavers out :) but i think at least for myself, even though i have a limitless supply of lifesavers i've been stingy in throwing them out. i only give them away if someone swims up to me and asks. Dr. R is the opposite. he throws as many lifesavers out as he possibly can. he doesn't even care if you're looking away or if you don't even want it, cuz sometimes even if you don't want it or need it, a few minutes later you'll start realizing you're drowning and then you'll start looking around and grab hold of that lifesaver.
on another note. one thing i've learned is its hard to ask for prayer, its so much easier to offer. therefore i oughtta be BOLD and offer! i think spiritually i've always been kinda timid. sometimes there'd be that tug to pray or to talk about Truth (with a capital T), but never had the guts to follow through. how sad. i'm learning though, not to be so shy anymore. or rather, i'm being forced not to be so shy & encouraged by what not-being-shy even looks like! i'm still kinda in a state of shock! i get to pray with patients!! how crazy awesome is that? :) iunno if i can go back to the monotony of school now that i've seen this. how i wish i could start practicing right now.
Tomorrow, Dr. R has sent me off on a 'field-trip' to a church! :) the whole organization is called Hope Foundation. it was started by one of Dr. R's patients who struggled with heroin to the point where she sold her body to get enough cash to pay for the drug. Being on a treatment program with Dr. R was only a temporary fixer-upper. It wasn't until she found God when she gave up heroin permanently, not just in her head, but in her heart. on thursdays they have a group of women who meet up, mainly women who were or are involved with addiction and the sex trade. Women broken and hurting, but healing through God's grace :) I'm excited to meet these women tmr, to hear their stories, & how God's been working in & through them! here's a video from their website:
On a spontaneous note, this monday I'm going to Perth to meet a man named Dr. George O'Neil! (it still seems so surreal. Dr. R was really keen for me to go & suggested the idea yesterday.. and here i am 1 day later with a ticket in hand for the coming monday!) This doctor is the guy who invented the Naltrexone implant - the thing thats truly keeping ppl off the drugs. More than that, he's a Kingdom-minded Christian who's going strong for the Lord :) He also works a lot with the homeless, even opening around 40 homes to get ppl off the streets! I'm really excited to see who he is, what he's doing, & what God's been doing there in Perth!
15.10.09
"Jesus is Lord of All
or He isn't Lord at all." ~Stephen Manley
"There's no such thing as a lukewarm Christian.
It's like saying there's dry water." ~Stephen Manley
"Is Jesus an overcoat you put on for the winter and take off for the summer?" ~Stephen Manley
"The issue isn't good or bad. It's he's not been at all." ~Stephen Manley
"Sovereign God,
Thy case, not my own, engages my heart,
and I appeal to thee with greatest freedom
to set up thy kingdom in every place where Satan reigns;
Glorify thyself and I shall rejoice,
for to bring honor to thy name is my sole desire.
I adore thee that thou are God,
and long that others should know it, feel it,
and rejoice in it.
O that all men might love and praise thee,
that thou mightst have all glory from the intelligent world!
Let sinners be brought to thee for thy dear name!
To the eye of reason everything respecting the conversion of others
is as dark as midnight,
But thou canst accomplish great things;
the cause is thine,
and it is to thy glory that men should be saved.
Lord, use me as thou wilt,
do with me what thou wilt;
but, O, promote thy cause,
let thy kingdom come,
let thy blessed interest be advanced in this world!
O do thou bring in great numbers to Jesus!
let me see that glorious day,
and give me to grasp for multitudes of souls;
let me be willing to die to that end;
and while I live let me labour for thee
to the utmost of my strength,
spending time profitably in this work,
both in health and in weakness.
It is thy cause and kingdom I long for, not my own.
O, answer thou my request!"
- Valley of Vision
wow.. what a prayer. what a calling we have. powerful stuff. hrm.. to be pondered after exams..
or He isn't Lord at all." ~Stephen Manley
"There's no such thing as a lukewarm Christian.
It's like saying there's dry water." ~Stephen Manley
"Is Jesus an overcoat you put on for the winter and take off for the summer?" ~Stephen Manley
"The issue isn't good or bad. It's he's not been at all." ~Stephen Manley
"Sovereign God,
Thy case, not my own, engages my heart,
and I appeal to thee with greatest freedom
to set up thy kingdom in every place where Satan reigns;
Glorify thyself and I shall rejoice,
for to bring honor to thy name is my sole desire.
I adore thee that thou are God,
and long that others should know it, feel it,
and rejoice in it.
O that all men might love and praise thee,
that thou mightst have all glory from the intelligent world!
Let sinners be brought to thee for thy dear name!
To the eye of reason everything respecting the conversion of others
is as dark as midnight,
But thou canst accomplish great things;
the cause is thine,
and it is to thy glory that men should be saved.
Lord, use me as thou wilt,
do with me what thou wilt;
but, O, promote thy cause,
let thy kingdom come,
let thy blessed interest be advanced in this world!
O do thou bring in great numbers to Jesus!
let me see that glorious day,
and give me to grasp for multitudes of souls;
let me be willing to die to that end;
and while I live let me labour for thee
to the utmost of my strength,
spending time profitably in this work,
both in health and in weakness.
It is thy cause and kingdom I long for, not my own.
O, answer thou my request!"
- Valley of Vision
wow.. what a prayer. what a calling we have. powerful stuff. hrm.. to be pondered after exams..
14.10.09
the kingdom of heaven is like a balloon :)
A man blows into a balloon and it expands. Air molecules in contact with the balloon surface are at the edge of balloon expansion, and air molecules in the middle of the balloon are also working to increase the balloon, pushing & supporting air molecules near the edge & expanding the balloon from within (although it may not be as noticeable). It is good to know that air molecules alone cannot do any work, but the man blowing the balloon is the ultimate source to direct & give power to expand the balloon.
We are the air molecules. God is the man blowing the balloon. Through His spirit He pushes us air molecules to do His work in expanding His Kingdom. Just as there are air molecules at the surface of the balloon and air molecules in the middle of the balloon, so there are people who go out to the ends of the earth and people who work within the community. All work together for the same cause, to expand the balloon. All powered by the same source, God. Therefore let us be like-minded, not jealous of each other's ministries, but all working together for one purpose as Kingdom-minded people. For we are all in this balloon together :)
A man blows into a balloon and it expands. Air molecules in contact with the balloon surface are at the edge of balloon expansion, and air molecules in the middle of the balloon are also working to increase the balloon, pushing & supporting air molecules near the edge & expanding the balloon from within (although it may not be as noticeable). It is good to know that air molecules alone cannot do any work, but the man blowing the balloon is the ultimate source to direct & give power to expand the balloon.
We are the air molecules. God is the man blowing the balloon. Through His spirit He pushes us air molecules to do His work in expanding His Kingdom. Just as there are air molecules at the surface of the balloon and air molecules in the middle of the balloon, so there are people who go out to the ends of the earth and people who work within the community. All work together for the same cause, to expand the balloon. All powered by the same source, God. Therefore let us be like-minded, not jealous of each other's ministries, but all working together for one purpose as Kingdom-minded people. For we are all in this balloon together :)
13.10.09
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." - Mark 12:30
.. help me grow my affections towards You, grow my understanding in You, and grow my boldness for You to put words into action.
---
by His grace, being in the Lord is enough. doing comes from the overflow. Lord let me overflow. I am ready.
.. help me grow my affections towards You, grow my understanding in You, and grow my boldness for You to put words into action.
---
by His grace, being in the Lord is enough. doing comes from the overflow. Lord let me overflow. I am ready.
12.10.09
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." - Mark 11:22-24
"I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields - and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first." - Mark 10:29-31
"I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields - and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first." - Mark 10:29-31
11.10.09
How Deep
Sovereign Grace (Valley of Vision)
You were broken that I might be healed
You were cast off that I might draw near
You were thirsty that I might come drink
Cried out in anguish that I might sing
How deep is Your love
How high and how wide is Your mercy
How deep is Your grace
Our hearts overflow with praise
To You
You knew darkness that I might know light
Wept great tears that mine might be dried
Stripped of glory that I might be clothed
Crushed by Your Father to call me Your own
5.10.09
Good vs. Evil
I was reading through mark 3 this morning and verses 11-12 really stood out for me.
"Whenever the evil spirits saw him, they fell down before him and cried out, "You are the Son of God." But he gave them strict orders not to tell who he was." mark3:11-12
In the movies we're used to seeing the epic battle play out between good and evil. We know at the bottom of our hearts that in the end good will always triumph. But throughout the movie, we can`t help but feel slightly worried for our hero and ambassador of good. Our hearts tighten, fists clench, and our minds go racing at the wonder of how good could possibly win over evil when they`re always seemingly shorthanded..
This is NOT the case in reality! There is NO close battle between good and evil. Evil has NO upperhand against good. In fact evil never even stood a chance, for the battle has already been won by our Lord Jesus Christ! Even more than that, evil cowers & trembles at the sight of our God. In what movie would the villain obey the hero's orders? none! Only in reality.
And so i sit here greatly encouraged by His great triumph! In Him and through Him we can do ALL things for He has already gone before us and fought the great fight. Therefore how much more shall we be spurred on to walk in the light of our faith through Jesus Christ our Lord :)
"Whenever the evil spirits saw him, they fell down before him and cried out, "You are the Son of God." But he gave them strict orders not to tell who he was." mark3:11-12
In the movies we're used to seeing the epic battle play out between good and evil. We know at the bottom of our hearts that in the end good will always triumph. But throughout the movie, we can`t help but feel slightly worried for our hero and ambassador of good. Our hearts tighten, fists clench, and our minds go racing at the wonder of how good could possibly win over evil when they`re always seemingly shorthanded..
This is NOT the case in reality! There is NO close battle between good and evil. Evil has NO upperhand against good. In fact evil never even stood a chance, for the battle has already been won by our Lord Jesus Christ! Even more than that, evil cowers & trembles at the sight of our God. In what movie would the villain obey the hero's orders? none! Only in reality.
And so i sit here greatly encouraged by His great triumph! In Him and through Him we can do ALL things for He has already gone before us and fought the great fight. Therefore how much more shall we be spurred on to walk in the light of our faith through Jesus Christ our Lord :)
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