i love you.

heaven's song

Trees waving,
Butterflies dancing,
Flowers smiling.

Birds chirping,
Wind blowing,
Sun beaming,
Children laughing,

All to the lull of Heaven's song


.. ever have that feeling, like you're in a movie? not only that, but it feels like there's music continuously playing in the background, just like during those emotional teary-eyed moments or transitory scenes in a TV drama. i was walking home today, and sat down for a long while on a park bench, just sitting and listening and thinking.. trying to take in everything at once. and i heard it. i heard an echo of Heaven's song, and it was beautiful. hearing children laugh, birds sing, trees waving their hands, the wind weaving through the grass, butterflies and bumblebees fluttering to each smiling flower, everything, everything was all so beautiful, and my heart felt content and complete. i thought it'd be tough at first, but it isn't, not anymore. I wouldn't mind staying like this forever, maybe i can. if it's in your will i guess, but at this very moment, i wouldn't mind. thank you for holding my heart, my whole heart.

10 Goals for '06-'07

My goals. help me Lord to follow through with these words. I know by myself I'm doomed to fail from the start, but you're holding me Lord, it is ALL You and Not Me.

1. this will be incredibly difficult, but from now on, no DC++, no christiantorrents, no downloading in general. i never once thought twice about my downloading music, movies, etc. but last sunday a guy pointed out to me how wrong it was.. he wasn't being judgemental or anything, in fact quite the contrary, but he made me see so clearly that it was just not right. and i recognize that now.. and to recognize yet do nothing, that would be the worst. so ya, no more stealing, cuz that's what it is in essence.

2. as mentioned in a prior post, this year I want to continue being single - for God to be the focal point in my life, for him to be the SOURCE of love that my heart will run to... not boys, not for the ideal of romance. Yet at the same time, this year I want to grow in my relationships with brothers-in-Christ, nothing more nothing less.

3. to put emphasis and strive for consistency in my prayer life; for Him to permeate EVERY SINGLE aspect of my life. not just the quiet prayer time, but to be in direct communication with him in everything that i do.. whether it be when I'm walking to class, when I'm doing homework, in meetings, during meals... everwhere really. its something i'm starting to get used to, and definitely don't want to let go.

4. to continue faithfully through my bible studies every morning. to have completed the book by the end of the year.

5. to grow as a worship leader and disciple in Christ.

6. to put a Godly stance in everything I do and say during Assembly Meetings, and especially during Senate! I've been delegated and elected Senator by You God. I hate politics, it's so dirty, yet you've placed me here, in a position of influence at Queen's. Don't let me shy away from my responsibilities, inspire me to say what you want me to say.. Lord I want Queen's University to be marked and annointed by You!

7. to grow in relationships with my sisters in Christ here at Queen's. Especially look after the relationships with those 3 people I've told you about..

8. to grow in my non-christian relationships. you seem to have placed me in a position with a LOT of non-christian friends. Lord, utilize me, may it be as natural as possible when the time comes to speak your truth.. but more importantly, keep me strong and level-headed. i never want to lose sight of you despite pulling influences.

9. to concentrate on my studies. i'm placed at queen's first and foremost to gain an education. help me glorify your name through my studies.

10. to take joy in everything I do, cuz i only live once, and this life is a gift from you to me. i want to embrace life fully cuz it really IS a joy to be alive!

hard knock life

why is life full of hard decisions and choices? why are there so many roadblocks, locked doors, not to mention the headaches caused by them? as my mom clearly puts it time and time again "life is not easy" sums up life eh? there's this HUGE mega question mark fogging up the lens to the future. its a pain only knowing the unknown, knowing i might just be hitting the wall when i walk so confidently through this door. i feel like i'm in a pinball machine, and i'm the ball being tossed here and there. is life just a pinball game? are we bouncing here and there till we finish up our 3 balls? and yet, God, with his 'stretched' time sees everything. He sees all the walls (or should i say bumpers) I'll hit, all the home-runs (or missions) I'll score, all my joys and pains. if i lean on him, lean on his understanding, lean on his Word and his truth, then my path WILL be made straight as he so clearly promises in proverbs 3. yet, i have an inkling of a feeling that it'll be made straight in HIS sense as opposed to mine. that doesn't seem so reassuring to put it plainly. but i need to get used to HIM being the boss of me, that he will oversee everything i do (given that i put my trust in Him AND given that i work my butt off in this world), and even if things don't happen to go as planned.. i still need to acknowledge that it IS going as planned in his plan.. if that makes any sense

.

what a relief!
what a huge burden lifted off!
its all out :)

may each step i take be aligned in your path..

.

woah, where'd that come from?
Huge epiphany? or plain deception?
where do i go from here...

nichole nordeman is the real deal

i think i really really really like Nichole Nordeman! man, she can DEFINITELY write! her lyrics are just so beautifully crafted (yes, she even rhymes, and its harder than it looks) plus there's actual depth of meaning in those lines, she truly paints a picture with her words eh? definitely more than your ordinary Hillsong's song where you sing an "I love you" x10 type deal (not that that is wrong or anything, but there's a time and place for it, and it can get overdone just a bit)

this was one of the first songs i heard from her, and listening to it again, i remembered why she stood out from the rest of the songs on my playlist. one word. wow.


Anyway.

Bless the days this restoration is complete
dirty, dusty, something must be underneath
So I scrape and I scuff
though it's never quite enough
I am starting to see me finally

A gallery of paintings new and paintings old
Guess its no suprise that I'm no michaelangelo
every layer of mine
hides a lovely design
It might take a little patience
it might take a little time

but you called me beautiful
when you saw my shame
and you placed me on the wall
anyway

you who have begun this work will someday see
A portrait of the holiness you meant for me
so I polish and shine till its easier to find
even an outline of mine

but you called me beautiful
when you saw my shame
and you placed me on the wall
anyway

thank you Father for the grace you've shown to me. its a grace that i will never be able to understand fully. its a grace beyond meaning, a grace beyond logic, and thankfully, a grace beyond doubt.

10 q

i'm truly blessed to have a friend like you.
thank you, for everything really.

i'm spoiled by you eh?
:)

love you.

.

How is it that parents know exactly what to say?
Why are they always so wise?
thankyou mom and dad :)
thankyou God for giving me my mom and dad :)

you knew all along..you knew I needed him..you knew our bond would only be strengthened in the end..you just knew..wow.

.

thank you for all the birthday wishes :)

yay, i'm 20!

I Cling to You

I’ve got no place to run (Bm G)
No place now to hide (D)
Jesus take me from this world of hardened pride (A)
There’s nothing for me here (Bm G)
Nothing for me now (D)
Don’t leave me hanging as I reach my hands up high (A)

I cling to You, Holy Truth (D D/F# )
I hold on tight, with all my might (G A)
Don’t let me go, my enduring Hope (D D/F#)
Just find rest my soul, in God alone. (G A)

And I will go with You (Bm G)
Where you stay I’ll stay (D)
Lord I will follow you forever and a day (A)
And I will bear your cross (Bm G)
Bear it anew each day (D)
The tides are changing, but I’ll continue to walk in faith (A)