2nd week in...

this will be the 2nd week i've been in hospital for med rotation. there's so much going on each day. every day is a busy day. and although i find it fascinating intellectually in that i'm seeing lots and learning lots, at the same time my heart has been taking a beating. it doesn't take long to notice that the hospital is a very busy jungle. seems like a luxury to dwell a little bit longer in conversation & care with patients. with the huge time-crunch of marathon ward-rounds and just plain getting things done, there's been no room for anything else. so much sickness & sadness, and so little time to care.

there've been many times when patients would break down in tears from the weight of everything thats been happening, and all the while everyone would be thinking 'oh no, we've got no time for this.' What a horrible thought. but also learning why people think like this. That by spending more time with one patient, it means spending less time with another. Looking at my reg, she shows compassion & warmth where she can, and still balances the reality of the time-crunch. so i'm starting to realize maybe its more a matter of learning how to switch on & off between patients, and learning how to be most efficient with the little time that's given. being in the moment when the moment requires, and as soon as that moment passes, switching that off and focusing on the next task at hand. not heartless, but practical. ..or maybe this is me becoming more cynical

personally i find it rather difficult to switch off, i can't help but linger on a situation and try to find some sort of resolution. i'm learning quick though that more often than not there are no easy answers, no quick fixes. Each patient has a myriad of complex issues to be addressed. to imagine carrying over each patients' issues and dwelling on them all... would ultimately lead to brain combustion! which is why i've been super amazed at what the allied health team does. that no tear shed is forgotten. underlying reasons for everything will be sought and resolved. and that before discharging anyone, the team makes sure they're good to go & well-supported to cope in post-hospital life.

all in all, i'm really loving medicine. so thankful He's placed me here to learn... it's busy, but it's good.

blessed are they...

Rendition on the Beatitudes taken from Matthew 5 .. dueling sides from the Bible vs. today's modern take

listening to this made me realize again how controversial & seemingly nonsensical Jesus is in what He says. its completely opposite from how the world would have it. its crazy how sin has a way of blinding us so completely that what seems right or wise or 'the good way to go" is so far-off from the truth as found in the Bible.

as i was listening i noticed the laughter going on in the background, i too joined in with laughter at some of the things said which seemed absurdly ridiculous, but when taking a step back couldn't help but think of the many times past & present where i've lived by the 'modern code.' how its all but too easy to think myself blessed to be in comfort, to have all my needs met... being self-sufficient to the point of self-reliant, to not be troubled by the atrocities going on in the world.. being numbed to the point that i say "It's just how life is".. and hence not fighting or praying for change!

But thank God for His grace, that though I sin far too easily, though at times the order of things gets topsy turvy in my head, He is patient with me, brings to my attention the things i ought to work on and the things His Spirit works in me to change! Reading through the real beatitudes is so comforting. reminded me of times when i clung to these few sentences as if they were precious gems.. and oh how they are! shining truths amongst deceptive lies the world weaves into our heads.