30.6.06
home sweet home
i was looking through some pictures .. and all i could think of was how much i miss home.. .. i miss victoria so much.. i wish i could leave everything right now and be home . there's a pit in my heart everytime i look at pictures from the past... knowing i can never go back.. not only that, but knowing that i won't be seeing them for so long.
27.6.06
something beautiful..
What I get from my reflection
Isn't what I thought I'd see
Give me reason to believe
Never leave me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine
It so easily defines me
Do you see it on my face?
And all I can think about
Is how long
I've been waiting to feel you move me
Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful
And I'm still fighting for the
Word to break these chains
And I still pray when I look
In your eyes, you'll stare right
Back down into something beautiful
Isn't what I thought I'd see
Give me reason to believe
Never leave me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine
It so easily defines me
Do you see it on my face?
And all I can think about
Is how long
I've been waiting to feel you move me
Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful
And I'm still fighting for the
Word to break these chains
And I still pray when I look
In your eyes, you'll stare right
Back down into something beautiful
26.6.06
matthew 5:13-14
it's foolish to think that being 'saved' is easy as pie, that it's simple becoming a Christian - ya know, all you have to do is say a quick prayer confessing your sins, and declaring Jesus as Lord and Saviour.
Looking at verses 13 and 14 of Matthew 5; we see that these 2 verses reach the pinnacle/climax of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. "Enter in the narrow gate; for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be who go in that way; because narrow is the gate, and hard is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
it all comes down to one word: CHOOSE
He's asking us to make the ultimate choice, to which path we'll take, to which destination we'll end up in: life or destruction. Seeing as his audience was made up of mainly Jews (believing Jews at that, among whom were the Pharisees), we know Jesus was not addressing the contrast between Christians and Pagans; rather, he was talking to 'Christians' alike! Both roads, the wide and the narrow, are marked as "The Way to Heaven" (i mean why would Satan mark the road to destruction as Hell? that wouldn't be tactful of him) .. So Jesus is contrasting between divine righteousness and human righteousness, as opposed to blatant unrighteousness. So what is Jesus calling us to do? well, he wants to bring us to that point where we realize that in our flesh, we are completely and utterly incapable of pleasing God. He wants us to be in desperation for him, with a broken spirit, meek and mournful. He wants us to cry out for righteousness from the one and only source that provides it, from God himself.
In order to enter the Kingdom we need to come on the terms Jesus described. to abandon our self-righteousness so we see ourselves as beggars in spirit (Matthew 5:3), mourning over our sin (Matthew 5:4), meek before a Holy God (Matthew 5:5), and hungering and thirsting for righteousness (Matthew 5:6). God wants us to strive wholeheartedly to enter that narrow gate as it says in Luke 13:24 "Strive to enter through the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able"
The word 'Strive' is the Greek word agonizomai, which means "to agonize." This word is used in 1Corinthians 9:25 to speak of the athlete who agonizes to win a victory. Not only that, but looking at 1 Timothy 6:12 it says "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
The Kingdom is for those who seek it with all their hearts; its for those who agonize to enter it; for those who mourn in meekness, hunger and thirst for righteousness, and long for God to change their lives. He wants us to be utterly dependant solely on Him. ya, to be as dependant as a child is.. as in Matthew 18:3.
Our generation has become an age of laziness. we're a generation who always looks for those quick-fixes, those instant-everything's. But when it concerns salvation, we canNOT be lazy. there is no quick-fix, as in, one cannot expect to be saved and on that path to life just because he or she believes and prays. granted there is nothing wrong with believing and praying, but those things in itself do not guaruntee salvation.. for even the Devil believes, and what about the Pharisees! Verses 13 & 14 of Matthew 5 is incredibly scary when you think about it. Many many 'christians' believe they're on that road to life, yet as Jesus points out, many seek and few will find... many will be deceived and enter that broad road labelled "The True Way to Heaven" when all along they're headed to destruction.
so words to myself as a reminder.. Beware . continually understand that I am nothing, absolutely nothing.. and only through my Father am i made into something......
Looking at verses 13 and 14 of Matthew 5; we see that these 2 verses reach the pinnacle/climax of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. "Enter in the narrow gate; for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be who go in that way; because narrow is the gate, and hard is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."
it all comes down to one word: CHOOSE
He's asking us to make the ultimate choice, to which path we'll take, to which destination we'll end up in: life or destruction. Seeing as his audience was made up of mainly Jews (believing Jews at that, among whom were the Pharisees), we know Jesus was not addressing the contrast between Christians and Pagans; rather, he was talking to 'Christians' alike! Both roads, the wide and the narrow, are marked as "The Way to Heaven" (i mean why would Satan mark the road to destruction as Hell? that wouldn't be tactful of him) .. So Jesus is contrasting between divine righteousness and human righteousness, as opposed to blatant unrighteousness. So what is Jesus calling us to do? well, he wants to bring us to that point where we realize that in our flesh, we are completely and utterly incapable of pleasing God. He wants us to be in desperation for him, with a broken spirit, meek and mournful. He wants us to cry out for righteousness from the one and only source that provides it, from God himself.
BUT.
its not just about that choice. often the fine print is overlooked. the fine print of 2 simple words: Follow ThroughIn order to enter the Kingdom we need to come on the terms Jesus described. to abandon our self-righteousness so we see ourselves as beggars in spirit (Matthew 5:3), mourning over our sin (Matthew 5:4), meek before a Holy God (Matthew 5:5), and hungering and thirsting for righteousness (Matthew 5:6). God wants us to strive wholeheartedly to enter that narrow gate as it says in Luke 13:24 "Strive to enter through the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able"
The word 'Strive' is the Greek word agonizomai, which means "to agonize." This word is used in 1Corinthians 9:25 to speak of the athlete who agonizes to win a victory. Not only that, but looking at 1 Timothy 6:12 it says "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
The Kingdom is for those who seek it with all their hearts; its for those who agonize to enter it; for those who mourn in meekness, hunger and thirst for righteousness, and long for God to change their lives. He wants us to be utterly dependant solely on Him. ya, to be as dependant as a child is.. as in Matthew 18:3.
Our generation has become an age of laziness. we're a generation who always looks for those quick-fixes, those instant-everything's. But when it concerns salvation, we canNOT be lazy. there is no quick-fix, as in, one cannot expect to be saved and on that path to life just because he or she believes and prays. granted there is nothing wrong with believing and praying, but those things in itself do not guaruntee salvation.. for even the Devil believes, and what about the Pharisees! Verses 13 & 14 of Matthew 5 is incredibly scary when you think about it. Many many 'christians' believe they're on that road to life, yet as Jesus points out, many seek and few will find... many will be deceived and enter that broad road labelled "The True Way to Heaven" when all along they're headed to destruction.
so words to myself as a reminder.. Beware . continually understand that I am nothing, absolutely nothing.. and only through my Father am i made into something......
25.6.06
drummergal
I forget who i was talking to, but a conversation popped up where we were debating the hottest/coolest/(dare-i-say)sexiest instrument known to man. apparently for many, the saxophone (i.e. the saxomaphone) is pretty high up there on the 'hot' list. but for me, just give me someone who plays the guitar or drums, and i'm good right there! I think i look up to all those who play these instruments mainly cuz i've always wanted to play them myself.. but never really got around to doing so. that was of course until i learned to play the drums as of late!! today was my debut as drummergal on the worship team. to be perfectly honest, there were a whole lotta extra-beats, lost-beats, wrong-beats, and the occasional right beats here and there, not only that, but apparently my timing was as if i was doing the 100m dash to the finish line or something. quite the sporadic drummer, yet Lily was convinced I'd been drumming my whole life :) --> cool
but ya, my goal is to become a stable drummer so that come september i'll be able to fill in here and there. since Aaron is leaving kcac, we'll be down with only 1 drummer.. and even that drummer might not be here in the fall. we'll see how God's plan unfolds, but it never hurts to be prepared, to oil up the lamp and get ready for night.
23.6.06
i love you.
what do those 3 seemingly simple words actually signify? how much do i really mean everytime i utter that phrase? how much of my heart is really in it? as it says in matthew 5, let your yes be yes, and your no be no... so every single thing that comes out of my mouth needs to be packed with promise, intent, and integrity. How can one go about using "I love you" so freely when in their hearts they truly don't care. this phrase has become so overused in our world that its true meaning is callused and lost in a sea of oblivion. I too can be grouped into this bunch of hardened hearts. do i love when i say i love? am i there for him or her when help is needed? would i drop everything for the sake of this person? do i care as much as i say i do?
... the thing i realized as of late is that NO person on earth can ever ever EVER say 'I Love You' unless he or she has experienced continual Love - Perfect love - that from God our Father in Heaven. I bold continual because that word is CRUCIAL to Christians, to us.. to me.. yes, Christians have all experienced God's love one time or another throughout their lives. But it's that moment where it hits you, that moment where suddenly the storm clouds lift and the sun peaks through, its that epiphany that transforms your life for eternity. Ya, its at that moment where we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour because of the love we experienced firsthand from him. Do you remember the feeling? not only that but the true understanding that came with the feeling -- the understanding of how HUGE his love was for us, that all we could do was overflow with his love, and spill it to all those around us. God doesn't want us to reflect his love, he wants us to overflow with his love, like lava bursting out from a volcanoe, consuming and covering all that it comes in contact with. so how then can we love if we are not replenished by the ultimate source of love? if we do not experience his love continually, our love consequently will dry out like the famine-stricken land - cracked, dead. We hear it time and time again: We love because God first Loved Us. It is that continual returning to the cross day-in day-out, not only that but even every single minute of each hour, where we are open to receive what he has to say to us, open to receive the love he so freely gives.. then will we be able to say "I love you" with true, pure, and perfect meaning.
ya i guess this is just a reminder to myself by putting my thoughts down into words. a reminder not to cheapen my Father's love for me by using that oh-so-often-used-phrase "I Love You" without backed meaning.
... the thing i realized as of late is that NO person on earth can ever ever EVER say 'I Love You' unless he or she has experienced continual Love - Perfect love - that from God our Father in Heaven. I bold continual because that word is CRUCIAL to Christians, to us.. to me.. yes, Christians have all experienced God's love one time or another throughout their lives. But it's that moment where it hits you, that moment where suddenly the storm clouds lift and the sun peaks through, its that epiphany that transforms your life for eternity. Ya, its at that moment where we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour because of the love we experienced firsthand from him. Do you remember the feeling? not only that but the true understanding that came with the feeling -- the understanding of how HUGE his love was for us, that all we could do was overflow with his love, and spill it to all those around us. God doesn't want us to reflect his love, he wants us to overflow with his love, like lava bursting out from a volcanoe, consuming and covering all that it comes in contact with. so how then can we love if we are not replenished by the ultimate source of love? if we do not experience his love continually, our love consequently will dry out like the famine-stricken land - cracked, dead. We hear it time and time again: We love because God first Loved Us. It is that continual returning to the cross day-in day-out, not only that but even every single minute of each hour, where we are open to receive what he has to say to us, open to receive the love he so freely gives.. then will we be able to say "I love you" with true, pure, and perfect meaning.
ya i guess this is just a reminder to myself by putting my thoughts down into words. a reminder not to cheapen my Father's love for me by using that oh-so-often-used-phrase "I Love You" without backed meaning.
19.6.06
Nothing but the truth.
I was listening to John MacArthur earlier today, and some of the things he said really sparked my interest! One of his talks "The Doctrine of Scripture" speaks on the validity of the claims of God's Word. Two points I especially took notice of was how science and prophecy testify the truth of the Word.
The science of hydrology was founded in the seventeenth century by Mariotte, Perrault, and Halley, but the hydrologic cycle is clearly described in Scripture:
1. Ecclesiastes 1:7--"All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full." (That's because of the hydrologic cycle)
2. Job 36:27-28--"He [God] draws up the drops of water, they distill rain from the mist, which the clouds pour down, they drip upon man abundantly" (NASB).
3. Psalm 135:7--"He causeth the vapors to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings for the rain." (This verse speaks of evaporation and precipitation)
4. Job 26:8--"He bindeth up the waters in his thick clouds; and the cloud is not torn under them." (This verse speaks of the formation of clouds by condensation)
Looking at Job 26:7, it says "He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing" Already, God talks about gravity in the Bible! This in itself is a huge testimony for the validity of the Word! Before Isaac Newton discovered gravity, the Hindu taught that the earth was balanced on the back of an elephant that rested on the back of a turtle. Other pagans, such as the Greeks, believed that the mythical Atlas carried the earth on his shoulders. Yet 4000 years ago, the oldest Book in the Bible recorded that the “earth hangs upon nothing.” Just a century ago, scientists believed that the earth was supported by some kind of ether. Today, scientists must admit that Job was correct. The earth does indeed “hang” and even travel through the emptiness of space.
Testimony of Science
Hydrology
Hydrology is the branch of science that studies the waters of the earth. In the hydrologic cycle, water evaporates into the atmosphere and is redeposited onto the earth in the form of rain or snow. That precipitation feeds rivers, which flow into the ocean. Evaporation from the ocean forms clouds, from which precipitation falls on the land, and the cycle repeats itself.The science of hydrology was founded in the seventeenth century by Mariotte, Perrault, and Halley, but the hydrologic cycle is clearly described in Scripture:
1. Ecclesiastes 1:7--"All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full." (That's because of the hydrologic cycle)
2. Job 36:27-28--"He [God] draws up the drops of water, they distill rain from the mist, which the clouds pour down, they drip upon man abundantly" (NASB).
3. Psalm 135:7--"He causeth the vapors to ascend from the ends of the earth; he maketh lightnings for the rain." (This verse speaks of evaporation and precipitation)
4. Job 26:8--"He bindeth up the waters in his thick clouds; and the cloud is not torn under them." (This verse speaks of the formation of clouds by condensation)
Astronomy
In Psalm 19:6, the psalmist refers to the sun when saying "His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it; and there is nothing hidden from the heat thereof." Long ago it was thought that the sun was stationary, yet it is now known that the sun, along with other stars in our galaxy revolve around the center of the galaxy. Astronomy books currently teach that the sun completes one such circuit every 250 million years! God knew this before we did because he created this world and the universe we live in.Looking at Job 26:7, it says "He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing" Already, God talks about gravity in the Bible! This in itself is a huge testimony for the validity of the Word! Before Isaac Newton discovered gravity, the Hindu taught that the earth was balanced on the back of an elephant that rested on the back of a turtle. Other pagans, such as the Greeks, believed that the mythical Atlas carried the earth on his shoulders. Yet 4000 years ago, the oldest Book in the Bible recorded that the “earth hangs upon nothing.” Just a century ago, scientists believed that the earth was supported by some kind of ether. Today, scientists must admit that Job was correct. The earth does indeed “hang” and even travel through the emptiness of space.
Testimony of Prophecy
Destruction of Nineveh
In Nahum it states that Nineveh will be destroyed by a flood. Nineveh was one massive city with a 100ft. high and 50ft. thick inner wall, with 15 gates and a 150ft. wide moat, not to mention a 7 mile circumference. Massively Huge eh? In 663 B.C., 51 years after Nahum prophesied, the city was no more. Not only that, but the destruction of Nineveh coaligns with "Ab" which was the rainy month. To add, there exists a stratum of pebbles and sand around the site that verfies Nineveh was flooded out. Amazing to say the least!
18.6.06
happy daddy's day!
What Makes a Dad:
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,
He called it ... Dad
...
Thank you Daddy for always seeing me through every single thing i do. it seems like time and time again, you've always been there to pick me up. you find a way to inspire and encourage me to never give up, to tough it out.
I miss you and mom so much. i hate not being able to talk to you as often as before. phone plans are just silly silly. especially mine. But Daddy? I just wanted to say that I miss you TONS, i miss your soothing hugs, i miss your yummy yummy food =P i miss talking to you about nothing and everything, i miss.. well, i just miss you.
Love you Daddy!
Happy Father's Day!
God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,
He called it ... Dad
...
Thank you Daddy for always seeing me through every single thing i do. it seems like time and time again, you've always been there to pick me up. you find a way to inspire and encourage me to never give up, to tough it out.
I miss you and mom so much. i hate not being able to talk to you as often as before. phone plans are just silly silly. especially mine. But Daddy? I just wanted to say that I miss you TONS, i miss your soothing hugs, i miss your yummy yummy food =P i miss talking to you about nothing and everything, i miss.. well, i just miss you.
Love you Daddy!
Happy Father's Day!
17.6.06
priviledged prayer
this is really random, but God, i just want to thank you for the gift of prayer. I thank you Lord for those 3 precious words: In Jesus' Name
That in itself is such a powerful statement, and Lord I am grateful to be able to utter it. Ya, because it really is a gift from you to me, teach me not to take prayer for granted God. Teach me to fully realize the weight that is carried with those words. To understand the consequences of my sins, and the grace You had for me and all of humanity.. . All so that I and everyone who is reaching out to you can have the priviledge to talk to you, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Elohim of All Time.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
That in itself is such a powerful statement, and Lord I am grateful to be able to utter it. Ya, because it really is a gift from you to me, teach me not to take prayer for granted God. Teach me to fully realize the weight that is carried with those words. To understand the consequences of my sins, and the grace You had for me and all of humanity.. . All so that I and everyone who is reaching out to you can have the priviledge to talk to you, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Elohim of All Time.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
15.6.06
obsolete light.
everytime i look up i see beauty beyond imagination; i lift my hands and i fly to meet him. i feel the rush of wind run past my face, and brightness getting brighter to illuminate my path. and then i look behind me, and beauty disappears. i look behind me, and all this time i was chained down. still chained down to this cruel world. worse, i look up again, and beauty is gone. instead i see altars surrounding me, closing in on me. altars to false gods, false truths. and i see myself paying homage to them, bowing down to them. The beauty is no more, only false beauty groping at my neck, choking life out of me.
...
this is how i have lived my whole life. all this time, i felt like i was flying, yet in reality, i was drowning.. drowning in false hope. my whole life, i've put education, duty, and future before everything else, and unknowingly before God. would I be happy if the road i want to take so badly becomes a dead-end? How would I react? i hate it when people have expectations from you. when people have hope in you and your abilities. when people (especially people you look up to, or strive to be) are so certain you'll end up in destination C. i don't want to let them down. i don't want to let myself down.
...
Ironic how one of my favourite songs speaks exactly of what I've failed to do. Surrending All.
I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you
I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain
...
Lord, i so want to give up my future to you. I want to surrender my life's course to you and you alone. It's hard God. It's so hard to let go of the things i've embraced my whole life. Help me Lord. Help me to take it one day at a time.. etch those words from the song above into my heart.. and when future becomes present, may i be content with your will.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
...
this is how i have lived my whole life. all this time, i felt like i was flying, yet in reality, i was drowning.. drowning in false hope. my whole life, i've put education, duty, and future before everything else, and unknowingly before God. would I be happy if the road i want to take so badly becomes a dead-end? How would I react? i hate it when people have expectations from you. when people have hope in you and your abilities. when people (especially people you look up to, or strive to be) are so certain you'll end up in destination C. i don't want to let them down. i don't want to let myself down.
...
Ironic how one of my favourite songs speaks exactly of what I've failed to do. Surrending All.
I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you
I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain
Words and Music by Marc James/©2000 Vineyard Songs (UK/Eire)
...
Lord, i so want to give up my future to you. I want to surrender my life's course to you and you alone. It's hard God. It's so hard to let go of the things i've embraced my whole life. Help me Lord. Help me to take it one day at a time.. etch those words from the song above into my heart.. and when future becomes present, may i be content with your will.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.
14.6.06
Galations 5:22-23
Galations 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."
Revelation 14:13 "And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them."
Matthew 21:19 "And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away."
Matthew 3:10 "And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire."
The fruit of the Spirit is a gift from God. There are nine fruits mentioned in the fifth chapter of Galations. The fruit (singular) of the Spirit is the work of the Holy Spirit within us. It is not just something we can gain on our own. It is something we attain only by joining our lives to Christ, by loving Him, by imitating Him and by remaining close to Him. Although our works don't save us, Revelations 14:13 says they do follow us. What we do is important. How we act, the way we conduct ourselves on a day to day basis, reflects on the name of Christ if we call ourselves Christians. It's so important to build the nine fruits of the Spirit as solid as you can build them into your character and practice them in your everyday life. Bearing fruit was so important to Jesus that he put a curse on the fig tree that didn't bear fruit so that it couldn't bear any more figs and it withered up and died. Matthew 3:10 says every tree that doesn't bear good fruit would be cut down and burned.
...
Love - for me to accept everyone as they are, not to judge or make preconceptions before even meeting the person
Joy - for me to have continual joy through the Spirit, even when I'm in despair, even when I feel I've lost all
Patience - for me to step out of my shoes and understand how others think, how others feel; not to have such high expectations for people, but rather to accept what I'm given
Kindness - for me to not only take notice of those in need, but to ACT on it
Goodness - for me to be filled inside with the Holy Spirit and the Living Word, so that everything coming out of me is wholly and completely good like all that which comes from the Father
Faithfulness - for my faith to stand still and strong like the mountain, and not to wax and wane like the moon; for me to be deeply rooted in the Living Word and the Living God so that even if a hurricane comes I will still stand tall
Gentleness - for me to practice meekness; to be humble in the sight of God, not only that, but to be humble in the sight of man; not to be proud of anything, but to recognize all I have, all I can do, is because of God's grace
Self-control - for me to say No and act upon it; for me not to waste time with useless things, but to focus on that which is most important
Revelation 14:13 "And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them."
Matthew 21:19 "And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away."
Matthew 3:10 "And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire."
The fruit of the Spirit is a gift from God. There are nine fruits mentioned in the fifth chapter of Galations. The fruit (singular) of the Spirit is the work of the Holy Spirit within us. It is not just something we can gain on our own. It is something we attain only by joining our lives to Christ, by loving Him, by imitating Him and by remaining close to Him. Although our works don't save us, Revelations 14:13 says they do follow us. What we do is important. How we act, the way we conduct ourselves on a day to day basis, reflects on the name of Christ if we call ourselves Christians. It's so important to build the nine fruits of the Spirit as solid as you can build them into your character and practice them in your everyday life. Bearing fruit was so important to Jesus that he put a curse on the fig tree that didn't bear fruit so that it couldn't bear any more figs and it withered up and died. Matthew 3:10 says every tree that doesn't bear good fruit would be cut down and burned.
...
Love - for me to accept everyone as they are, not to judge or make preconceptions before even meeting the person
Joy - for me to have continual joy through the Spirit, even when I'm in despair, even when I feel I've lost all
Patience - for me to step out of my shoes and understand how others think, how others feel; not to have such high expectations for people, but rather to accept what I'm given
Kindness - for me to not only take notice of those in need, but to ACT on it
Goodness - for me to be filled inside with the Holy Spirit and the Living Word, so that everything coming out of me is wholly and completely good like all that which comes from the Father
Faithfulness - for my faith to stand still and strong like the mountain, and not to wax and wane like the moon; for me to be deeply rooted in the Living Word and the Living God so that even if a hurricane comes I will still stand tall
Gentleness - for me to practice meekness; to be humble in the sight of God, not only that, but to be humble in the sight of man; not to be proud of anything, but to recognize all I have, all I can do, is because of God's grace
Self-control - for me to say No and act upon it; for me not to waste time with useless things, but to focus on that which is most important
11.6.06
...dreams...
Are dreams actually a manifestation of whats inside our heart? inside our subconscious? Today I took a nap after church, and I dreamt a long dream. It felt so real. I dreamt about something I never ever saw myself doing. And worst yet, I felt a part of that fictitious world.. i felt i belonged.. and i liked it.
It wasn't until my mom called when I awoke. Its as if she saved me from my dream. I was lost in this dark labyrinth of an other life until she called. Yet even though I was awake, I still remembered everything I dreamt about. And worse , the same stagnant feeling was with me. I awoke with that horrible feeling of emptiness, lost hope, hollowness. It was horrible. I don't think I like dreams anymore. They're when you're at your weakest. You have no control; all is let loose for the devil to toy with you.
God protect me please. Send your angels to guard my mind, my heart, my soul, my every being! Whether in the conscious world or the subconscious world, please Lord, protect me. I am weak, so incredibly weak without you. Lord, I know I'm crippled without your support, and I am nothing without your love. Please, embrace me with your love and grace that I may be made whole forever and eternity.
Amen.
...
Lord, my trust is in YOU and you ALONE!
Why? Because you are my refuge when I'm weak;
My shelter from the storm;
You've always wiped away my tears;
You've returned all my wasted years;
You're my Father and Healer when I'm broken,
You constantly bring peace to my madness, and comfort for my sadness;
Lord, you're my Fountain when I'm thirsty,
and you're my Lover every single time I feel lonely;
You're My God.
My Hayotzer.
My Avi HaKavod.
My Abba.
. and that is why I put my trust in You, Elohim of All time .
It wasn't until my mom called when I awoke. Its as if she saved me from my dream. I was lost in this dark labyrinth of an other life until she called. Yet even though I was awake, I still remembered everything I dreamt about. And worse , the same stagnant feeling was with me. I awoke with that horrible feeling of emptiness, lost hope, hollowness. It was horrible. I don't think I like dreams anymore. They're when you're at your weakest. You have no control; all is let loose for the devil to toy with you.
God protect me please. Send your angels to guard my mind, my heart, my soul, my every being! Whether in the conscious world or the subconscious world, please Lord, protect me. I am weak, so incredibly weak without you. Lord, I know I'm crippled without your support, and I am nothing without your love. Please, embrace me with your love and grace that I may be made whole forever and eternity.
Amen.
...
Lord, my trust is in YOU and you ALONE!
Why? Because you are my refuge when I'm weak;
My shelter from the storm;
You've always wiped away my tears;
You've returned all my wasted years;
You're my Father and Healer when I'm broken,
You constantly bring peace to my madness, and comfort for my sadness;
Lord, you're my Fountain when I'm thirsty,
and you're my Lover every single time I feel lonely;
You're My God.
My Hayotzer.
My Avi HaKavod.
My Abba.
. and that is why I put my trust in You, Elohim of All time .
Worship
Most people go to church for what they can get out of it - whether it be to get something out of the music, or out of the sermon, or just to get blessed. However, the music and the sermon aren’t ends in themselves, they are but stimuli causing us to worship God.
We go to church to worship God, and that’s done by giving, not getting. We go to offer something to Him, not to receive from Him. There is blessing in giving, for it says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). So, worship is giving to God, not getting.
The common New Testament word for worship is [proskuneo], which means “to kiss toward, to bow down, to prostrate oneself.” The idea of worship is that one prostrates himself before a superior being with a sense of respect, awe, reverence, honor, and homage. In a Christian context, we simply apply this to God and prostrate ourselves before Him in respect and honor, paying Him the glory due His superior being.
Essentially, then, worship is giving - giving honor and respect to God. That is why we as Christians gather together on Sunday. We don’t gather to give respect to the preacher or those in the choir, we gather to give honour to God. The sermon and the music are just to be the stimuli that create the desire in our hearts to honor Him.
...
So today I led worship for the first time. I was extremely nervous - and even that is an understatement. When I'm singing, I feel free. I close my eyes, and its just Him and Me. When I sing, I don't feel eyes watching me, I don't feel as if I'm under a microscope. This is because the whole entire congregation sings as one voice, same words, same notes, same thoughts; we all blend in unison. However, when I pray or when I talk, I feel like all eyes are on me, or rather all ears are on me, and because of that nervousness creeps in, words become a jumble in my head, thoughts become cloudy, and I don't know what to say. You'd think that with 10+ years of music festival, stage fright would be wiped out of my dictionary, but nope. despite all those years, I felt the same stage fright I felt when I was 9 years old out on some big stage in some big university playing my tiny violin. It felt the same. Well not completely. But I was nervous today. I just pray with time, I'll get accustomed to leading. That I'll become more confidant in the words I say, and not let the congregation's hearing ears hinder me.
We go to church to worship God, and that’s done by giving, not getting. We go to offer something to Him, not to receive from Him. There is blessing in giving, for it says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). So, worship is giving to God, not getting.
The common New Testament word for worship is [proskuneo], which means “to kiss toward, to bow down, to prostrate oneself.” The idea of worship is that one prostrates himself before a superior being with a sense of respect, awe, reverence, honor, and homage. In a Christian context, we simply apply this to God and prostrate ourselves before Him in respect and honor, paying Him the glory due His superior being.
Essentially, then, worship is giving - giving honor and respect to God. That is why we as Christians gather together on Sunday. We don’t gather to give respect to the preacher or those in the choir, we gather to give honour to God. The sermon and the music are just to be the stimuli that create the desire in our hearts to honor Him.
...
So today I led worship for the first time. I was extremely nervous - and even that is an understatement. When I'm singing, I feel free. I close my eyes, and its just Him and Me. When I sing, I don't feel eyes watching me, I don't feel as if I'm under a microscope. This is because the whole entire congregation sings as one voice, same words, same notes, same thoughts; we all blend in unison. However, when I pray or when I talk, I feel like all eyes are on me, or rather all ears are on me, and because of that nervousness creeps in, words become a jumble in my head, thoughts become cloudy, and I don't know what to say. You'd think that with 10+ years of music festival, stage fright would be wiped out of my dictionary, but nope. despite all those years, I felt the same stage fright I felt when I was 9 years old out on some big stage in some big university playing my tiny violin. It felt the same. Well not completely. But I was nervous today. I just pray with time, I'll get accustomed to leading. That I'll become more confidant in the words I say, and not let the congregation's hearing ears hinder me.
7.6.06
smooth to the max
As I was walking home today from the library, there were these 4 guys who were passing around a frisbee on Division . So guy #1 passes the frisbee to guy #2 who couldn't seem to get his hand around that flat disc, but lo and behold right behind him there's ME trekking along at my usual slow pace. So as I'm walking down that street listening to Jim Brickman on my mp3, I notice this disc flying at me, and I oh-so-smoothly raise my left hand and catch the thing! Yes, single-handedly! that oh-so-smooth catch was then followed by ooh's and aah's and yes, even clapping. I couldn't help but smile :)
...
It turns out this Sunday I'll be leading worship for the 1st time in my life. To be completely honest, I don't feel ready; if anything I feel scared and wholly insufficient for the role. I don't know the first thing about leading a congregation into God's presence, to assist them in TRUE worship - worship that is in spirit and truth, an offering of not just the words we sing, but of everything in our sole being which proclaims wholeheartedly the truths found in those lyrics - something that is beautiful and pleasing to God. Can I really do that? But then again, week after week when I help with worship, I'm 100% sure that is is by God's grace that I can play or sing. I know that without Him and the talents he's given me, I'd be nothing, I'd do nothing, and worst of all I'd feel nothing. So maybe leading worship aint that bad? Seeing as God will be with me through and through. And maybe this is just God's way of telling me to step up to the plate, to start training now in order to prepare for whats to come in the future. But still, I can't help but feel a tad bit apprehensive about Sunday... about not being able to step up to that oh-so-high plate..
...
It turns out this Sunday I'll be leading worship for the 1st time in my life. To be completely honest, I don't feel ready; if anything I feel scared and wholly insufficient for the role. I don't know the first thing about leading a congregation into God's presence, to assist them in TRUE worship - worship that is in spirit and truth, an offering of not just the words we sing, but of everything in our sole being which proclaims wholeheartedly the truths found in those lyrics - something that is beautiful and pleasing to God. Can I really do that? But then again, week after week when I help with worship, I'm 100% sure that is is by God's grace that I can play or sing. I know that without Him and the talents he's given me, I'd be nothing, I'd do nothing, and worst of all I'd feel nothing. So maybe leading worship aint that bad? Seeing as God will be with me through and through. And maybe this is just God's way of telling me to step up to the plate, to start training now in order to prepare for whats to come in the future. But still, I can't help but feel a tad bit apprehensive about Sunday... about not being able to step up to that oh-so-high plate..
6.6.06
not cool.
i hate hate hate awkward meetings. its just no fun. you feel like a lill helpless sheep about to be fed to the lions! you feel silly and out of place, like you just don't belong there. its especially worse when you're by yourself and the other 2 people are with their whole crew of friends whom you don't know... let alone not knowing those 2 people all that well to begin with. and then comes the forced conversation with all 7 of their crew listening in. your basic questions.. and then silence. awkward awkward awkward. i hate that feeling. its just not cool.
on another note today is 06/06/06 .. silly how there's so much hype about it. but i learned something new today. Apparently there's a Black Pope! (who is in essence the anti-Pope) The Black Pope, also known as Peter Gilmore, is the head of the Church of Satan. and believe it or not, the church of satan does NOT worship the devil. In fact they've got NOTHING to do with the satan as christians know him to be. Satan in hebrew means 'adversary' ... so in other words Satanism celebrates the atheistic view; they are anti-religion and hedonists! They believe in no form of deity or after-life. All they believe in is making the most out of their lives, living it to the fullest.. thats it. different from what you'd expect eh?
on another note today is 06/06/06 .. silly how there's so much hype about it. but i learned something new today. Apparently there's a Black Pope! (who is in essence the anti-Pope) The Black Pope, also known as Peter Gilmore, is the head of the Church of Satan. and believe it or not, the church of satan does NOT worship the devil. In fact they've got NOTHING to do with the satan as christians know him to be. Satan in hebrew means 'adversary' ... so in other words Satanism celebrates the atheistic view; they are anti-religion and hedonists! They believe in no form of deity or after-life. All they believe in is making the most out of their lives, living it to the fullest.. thats it. different from what you'd expect eh?
4.6.06
The big, the bad, and the ugly
Wow. So Kenneth E. Hagin, the author of those infamous Spiritual Growth Series, is a heretic. How scary is that? He's the 'father' of the so-called Word-Faith Movement (WFM)... teaching that Christians can essentially claim anything in the name of Jesus. its also known as the 'name-it, claim-it' doctrine... so in other words, UBER sketchiness! Yet there really is a thin and delicate line between what is Ungodly and what IS godly. So thin, that the majority of us commonfolk could easily be swayed or brought up via the 'heretic' way. Despite alarm bells ringing off when I was reading through his bible studies, if Jon hadn't informed me about Hagin today, I would've still been letting his words soak into my brain and into my heart! Scary to think I was that close to taking in something whose validity of authority and truth is in serious doubt; not to mention the huge question mark behind its authorship.
That "H" word is so incredibly charged. No one in their right mind would want to be tagged by that word. Yet at the same time those who deny it the most can also be the ones who are so blinded as to completely warp the word of God. They are usually the stubborn well-learned ones (maybe not so well-learned)... but rather those who get too accustomed to their own beliefs or interpretations of the Word; those who are so narrow-minded as to not see the other possibilities which may end up being the greater of the truths.
I don't believe a heretic does his or her 'thang' on purpose (with the exception of those certain few). if anything, its stubborness from turning their head towards the even greater truth. Seeing things in that light makes the picture seem quite daunting. For all we know, we OURselves could be the false prophets.. even with good intentions... but bottom line False Prophets! For example, take Hananiah in the book of Jeremiah. Scary to think he was so self-assured not to mention God-assured in his contradictory message from that of the prophet Jeremiah. Yet in the end, he was wrong and subsequently was "removed from the face of the Earth" and within that same year he "died because he preached rebellion against the Lord"
Another thing to mention is the heresy of Modalism. I didn't know it before, but I was always taught ever since i was a youngen to believe in the Trinity as each head having its own purpose. i.e. Holy Spirit ==> purpose in sanctification/conviction/empowerment.... Jesus ==> purpose in redemption..... Father ==> purpose in creation. Yet this is actually a heresy seeing as God exists as the triune God, each head in perfect communion with each other; so no restricting/limiting purposes to confine each figurehead of the Trinity.
Scary stuff eh? how easy it seems to cross over that line into the "H"-realm.
That "H" word is so incredibly charged. No one in their right mind would want to be tagged by that word. Yet at the same time those who deny it the most can also be the ones who are so blinded as to completely warp the word of God. They are usually the stubborn well-learned ones (maybe not so well-learned)... but rather those who get too accustomed to their own beliefs or interpretations of the Word; those who are so narrow-minded as to not see the other possibilities which may end up being the greater of the truths.
I don't believe a heretic does his or her 'thang' on purpose (with the exception of those certain few). if anything, its stubborness from turning their head towards the even greater truth. Seeing things in that light makes the picture seem quite daunting. For all we know, we OURselves could be the false prophets.. even with good intentions... but bottom line False Prophets! For example, take Hananiah in the book of Jeremiah. Scary to think he was so self-assured not to mention God-assured in his contradictory message from that of the prophet Jeremiah. Yet in the end, he was wrong and subsequently was "removed from the face of the Earth" and within that same year he "died because he preached rebellion against the Lord"
Another thing to mention is the heresy of Modalism. I didn't know it before, but I was always taught ever since i was a youngen to believe in the Trinity as each head having its own purpose. i.e. Holy Spirit ==> purpose in sanctification/conviction/empowerment.... Jesus ==> purpose in redemption..... Father ==> purpose in creation. Yet this is actually a heresy seeing as God exists as the triune God, each head in perfect communion with each other; so no restricting/limiting purposes to confine each figurehead of the Trinity.
Scary stuff eh? how easy it seems to cross over that line into the "H"-realm.
1.6.06
!! Happy Birthday Meiqi !!
girls definitely read into things way too deeply. well, most girls anyways. (and i think i fall into that category..)
on another note, today was meiqi's 20th birthday :)
we surprised her big time! everything was beautifully perfect. picture this: you open your door to find this dark hallway littered with balloons scattered here and there, and at the end, is a gorgeous chocolate cake, lit with 20 glowing candles. perfect eh? the funny and sad part was that we waited TWO WHOLE hours for her to come home!! we were all sitting on that couch taking turns as "lookout" aka watchdog post. twas some good times though! and great conversation too! for example, we were talking about homosexuality, nature vs nurture.. meiqi had a friend who worked in a lab with budgies, and APPARENTLY one can induce homosexuality on these birds. so, if a female budgie were in a cage with another female, they'd become lesbians... yet if those 2 same females were separated and put into another cage with a Male, then they'd become heterosexual. looking at that case, what does it say about humanity and sexuality? nature? are we born with the genes which writes off our sexuality? or.. are we nurtured in such a way as to promote our type of sexuality? interesting eh? are humans so impressionable as to have our essence - our sexuality - as a male or female to be shaped and molded by the media? literature? society?
something to think about..
on another note, today was meiqi's 20th birthday :)
we surprised her big time! everything was beautifully perfect. picture this: you open your door to find this dark hallway littered with balloons scattered here and there, and at the end, is a gorgeous chocolate cake, lit with 20 glowing candles. perfect eh? the funny and sad part was that we waited TWO WHOLE hours for her to come home!! we were all sitting on that couch taking turns as "lookout" aka watchdog post. twas some good times though! and great conversation too! for example, we were talking about homosexuality, nature vs nurture.. meiqi had a friend who worked in a lab with budgies, and APPARENTLY one can induce homosexuality on these birds. so, if a female budgie were in a cage with another female, they'd become lesbians... yet if those 2 same females were separated and put into another cage with a Male, then they'd become heterosexual. looking at that case, what does it say about humanity and sexuality? nature? are we born with the genes which writes off our sexuality? or.. are we nurtured in such a way as to promote our type of sexuality? interesting eh? are humans so impressionable as to have our essence - our sexuality - as a male or female to be shaped and molded by the media? literature? society?
something to think about..
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