happy easter

thank you thank you thank you Lord!!

I don't know how, but You've lifted up my spirits and have taken away this cloud.

This easter weekend has been so rejuvenating for me! was a much needed break from the hospital and from school. there's nothing better than taking some time out to reflect and catchup on non-mediciney reading :) was filled with eating the Word & finishing half-read books, and basking in His creation. Yay for living near a beautiful park.. its a blessing even if at times i wish there was an ocean or mountain in arms reach :p

Over this weekend its been good reflecting on what Jesus' death & resurrection mean to me. I can't even describe the feeling. its more than joy, more than thankfulness.. its like this warm filling feeling that envelops every bit of you. the feeling that you are so dearly immensely loved despite being so unlovable, that you are someone God of all creation wants back into His family, so much that He'd give up everything for you, give up His most precious Son for you.

And more than that, for the Son to willingly accept death, shame, excruciating pain, and the burden of the world's sin past present future, even bearing separation from His Father as He willingly accepted death on the cross because of His great love for us. That's craziness. It's something that can't be explained away, just doesn't make sense. And that's whats so powerful about this. Plus the fact that the story doesn't end there.

Jesus conquered death and is alive! and in so doing, He conquers death for us and we become alive in Him! Not just so that we no longer have to face eternity apart from the Father, but that here on earth we have relationship, we have closeness and access to Him through Jesus. That He no longer sees me in all my shortcomings and failings time and time again... but sees Christ's perfection blanketing over me. i realize more so now than when i was a younger christian just how sinful and undeserving I am ... how hopeless it would be if Christ never took my penalty. And so for me, Jesus' death & resurrection means hope! hope for eternity with the Father & hope for now , that He's working to change me bit by bit, till I reflect Him. Praying He keep on cleaning out the house of my heart, to sweep away the dust of sin that's piled without me even realizing.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" -- 1 Peter 1:3

i hate having that feeling of a cloud looming over you... the cloud of things to do

i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment

gotta study for step1
gotta push forward this rather stagnant project of mine
gotta get through med rotation, there's so much to learn!
gotta start on that list of errands to do...i need a day off, things close too early here

ok. i guess there's no better way to get a move on than actually moving instead of being paralyzed under this cloud of 'to-do' . although i can't help but think how silly it is to be busy.. and for what. i guess its more a means to an end at this point.

church

taken from a friend's blog post, a quote from A.B. Simpson, the founder of C&MA (Christian & Missionary Alliance). What a great reminder!! There's so much meaning backed behind the idea of 'church.'.. but hoping it not just stay as an idea, rather praying for the reality. I love weaving through the different ideas & thoughts that swirl in my head, envisioning a what-can-be versus a what-is-for-now. oh the possibilities... but then reality of time-constraints, man-power constraints, $$-constraints... so many constraints settle in and choke out the urge, the passion, the will to see change. Oh but to see beyond the mountains, and focus on the One whom the mountains bow down to. To remember again that with Him the impossible is made into a reality.

"He is showing us the plan for a Christian church that is much more than an association of congenial friends to listen once a week to an intellectual discourse and musical entertainment and carry on by proxy a mechanism of Christian work; but rather a church that can be at once the mother and home of every form of help and blessing which Jesus came to give to lost and suffering men, the birthplace and the home of souls, the fountain of healing and cleansing, the sheltering home for the orphan and distressed, the school for the culture and training of God's children, the armory where they are equipped for the battle of the Lord and the army which fights those battles in His name. Such a center of population in this sad and sinful world!"

-- A. B Simpson, A Larger Christian Life p. 153