there are moments, fleeting moments when i feel all air is being taken out of me. when i feel like i'm about to collapse. it hits you without forewarning and makes you gasp for air. you feel like everything around you is crumbling and that you are crumbling with it. ..and then you realize that this is reality. we live in a world where things fade in and out. nothing lasts forever except the hope and friendship we have in our Lord. So long as we keep seeking strength from our God we are forever renewed and rebuilt into a fortified structure that will never crumble for eternity. though everything else around us shatters into pieces, though our life-path becomes blurred and grey, though at times we feel like giving in and crumbling with everything else in this world, HE will be a stronghold. He will be our crutch to forever lean on. For it is NEVER by our own strength, but by His who will keep us standing when all the glitter and glam corrodes into non-existence.
...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Help me learn to love the way You have asked me to love. Help me to be satisfied with Your love alone and not to be so easily saddened or hurt from others for love is never self-seeking. Teach me to love how you love...
27.7.07
its 2:13am.
and it turns out we'll be catching the 3:15am bus to toronto.
CRAZY i tell you.
but i just wanted to write down these things before i forgot... things to remember... things to look back on... things to ponder
..
have you ever challenged God? or rather have you ever asked God to do a certain something to tell you which path to take, or what to think? well i did today. and now i think i'm playing with dangerous fire..
i want to be happy.
and i am happy now :)
and it turns out we'll be catching the 3:15am bus to toronto.
CRAZY i tell you.
but i just wanted to write down these things before i forgot... things to remember... things to look back on... things to ponder
..
have you ever challenged God? or rather have you ever asked God to do a certain something to tell you which path to take, or what to think? well i did today. and now i think i'm playing with dangerous fire..
i want to be happy.
and i am happy now :)
13.7.07
Stand still and firm in the Lord
Do not waiver at the slightest breeze
Cling only to Him and His Word
Not to anything else,
Not even yourself.
...
walking home yesterday, i met a youth pastor from north carolina. we were talking about the state of Canada's Church. we were able to talk as if we knew each other longer than the few minutes we were talking for. he opened up so much... it makes you understand that we really are one in the bond of love. after that conversation before i left the bus, we were saying that no matter where we are, no matter what culture we come from, or what language we speak, we are all connected through His love, and thats the beauty of God's masterplan. through all the seeming differences that we as humans tend to focus on, really we're all the same. we all love, we all hurt, we all are born, and we all die.. really we're all just trying to make it through this life as best we can... leaning on each other for support.. and leaning on God for guidance as we walk through this very narrow tunnel leading to life beyond death.
life is simple. but it is only simple if we seek simplicity in complexity. its so easy to get caught up in the entangled web of life on Earth, but once we look beyond the gray clouds, then we can see the stars. life is hard. there's no doubt about that. but i think when you get to the core of things, life is only hard because we make it hard for ourselves. people seek love. people seek affirmation. people seek a sense of belonging. all these things we seek are in no way bad things.. but they are things that will never make us fully joyful. we need to seek God first and foremost because he is the only fountain of happiness we will ever drink from. Don't get lost in the complexities of life. Focus on the simplicity of God and his love for you, because in the end, thats all that matters in life.
Do not waiver at the slightest breeze
Cling only to Him and His Word
Not to anything else,
Not even yourself.
...
walking home yesterday, i met a youth pastor from north carolina. we were talking about the state of Canada's Church. we were able to talk as if we knew each other longer than the few minutes we were talking for. he opened up so much... it makes you understand that we really are one in the bond of love. after that conversation before i left the bus, we were saying that no matter where we are, no matter what culture we come from, or what language we speak, we are all connected through His love, and thats the beauty of God's masterplan. through all the seeming differences that we as humans tend to focus on, really we're all the same. we all love, we all hurt, we all are born, and we all die.. really we're all just trying to make it through this life as best we can... leaning on each other for support.. and leaning on God for guidance as we walk through this very narrow tunnel leading to life beyond death.
life is simple. but it is only simple if we seek simplicity in complexity. its so easy to get caught up in the entangled web of life on Earth, but once we look beyond the gray clouds, then we can see the stars. life is hard. there's no doubt about that. but i think when you get to the core of things, life is only hard because we make it hard for ourselves. people seek love. people seek affirmation. people seek a sense of belonging. all these things we seek are in no way bad things.. but they are things that will never make us fully joyful. we need to seek God first and foremost because he is the only fountain of happiness we will ever drink from. Don't get lost in the complexities of life. Focus on the simplicity of God and his love for you, because in the end, thats all that matters in life.
5.7.07
i hate this.. i'm beginning to feel so restrained here in kingston. i just want to get out. its so frustrating at times.. how small this town is. you hear people say how they miss kingston cuz its so much more easier to live without all the complications/busyness that a big city brings. victoria, contrary to what most people think, is HUGE compared to here. you go downtown and there's so much life. i think i'm starting to miss home. i just miss familiarity. it feels like so many people are gone now.. i just wanna go .. i don't like being in kingston anymore.
but i guess God has a purpose for everything .. i know i'm glad i've gotten to know some friends at a whole new level. its surprising at times how many layers people have. its so enriching when you learn about all these different aspects a person may have.. really, people are just like onions :) its nice knowing that there's more to a person than the superficial. that a conversation can go beyond the mindless banter and actually hit those issues that pierce the core of our humanity..
or not.
i just.. really want to get out right now. maybe this is a passing phase. hopefully its a passing thing..
i'm so tired of this.. so tired in general. i think i'm gonna take a nap and dream. i like dreams.. things are so much simpler.. easier... nicer..
but i guess God has a purpose for everything .. i know i'm glad i've gotten to know some friends at a whole new level. its surprising at times how many layers people have. its so enriching when you learn about all these different aspects a person may have.. really, people are just like onions :) its nice knowing that there's more to a person than the superficial. that a conversation can go beyond the mindless banter and actually hit those issues that pierce the core of our humanity..
or not.
i just.. really want to get out right now. maybe this is a passing phase. hopefully its a passing thing..
i'm so tired of this.. so tired in general. i think i'm gonna take a nap and dream. i like dreams.. things are so much simpler.. easier... nicer..
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