I'm sorry for not caring enough, for being so self-absorbed ..
I'm sorry for taking matters into my own hands. I'm sorry for losing focus..
I'm sorry for getting out of that boat only to climb back in..
do i have any regrets for this year? if i could do it all again what would i do?
i don't know if i would have done the same things.. i don't think i would have made the same decisions. but who cares what i would have done... its the past now.
i wish school wasn't so hard and scary. what am i even afraid of? bad marks? so what! God still has his plan for me.. but the thing is... i know i haven't tried my best... and like all decisions and all choices in life, i must face the consequences of that. .. even if it means bad marks.
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.. i'm sorry for losing sight of you..
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i miss music.
its weird... but i dunno why i'm so emotional.. maybe its this song..
listening to one of chopin's etudes... i started remembering the past... i love music. sitting on that piano was my refuge. where it would only be me and you. classical music is so beautiful.. it truly expresses the deepest yearnings of the soul... i want to get back to that time again... where i could play freely .. its like it was a period in my past that i can never return to ..
.... i'm not going to stop playing... after exams, i'm returning to the piano again... i hope.. but like always, technique and time holds me back ..
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why is it that i find it so hard to open up to people? its like i have a pride issue i need to get over.. a false pride about nothing...
when did things get so superficial again? i don't care about the silly things... i don't wanna hear about them... i wanna know how you really are doing... .. tell me... how can i be a better person... i need to be less self-absorbed...less prideful...
