so blessed to have had 2 brothers from SMBC (Sydney Missionary & Bible College) share life with our community group tonight. it was mask-off, genuine and real. it was sort of a taste of what our group could be like, and what we ought to be like... like family who shares life together. so thankful for this openness to be modelled for us by these guys who live out Jesus not just on Sundays, not just during personal time with God, not just with their own church & friends, but also with us, who are technically complete strangers. really thankful for their questions to prod the inner workings of our hearts... and their honestness in answering. you just can't help but see their genuine love for God bubbling out.
i was really moved tonight. only hours before when i went out for a run to clear my head, was i downtrodden at how such silly trivial things can be so magnified and centralized by people, and by me. but oh how i see the big picture yet again... and i was reminded of the story of how God pursued me and won my heart over. this accompanied with the flood of emotion of pure love and joy and immense warmth to the core from going back in time. i couldn't help it as we read through a passage in Psalms. it was the same passage that got me through a lot. Thank you for this reminder. I know in my head, but i think sometimes i forget in my heart this all-enveloping love that God has for us, the love that His Son would willingly die in my place so that I might be brought into God's family. and it doesn't stop there. but it's a love we are called to live out. i'm reminded i need to constantly go back to the cross. it's such a phrase that's always thrown around.. but so important. to remember who i was and know who i am, and that without God i am nothing and can do nothing. that and I need to constantly die to myself, my pride, my ambitions, my selfishness, my sinful ways of heart & mind. that He is the one i live for; He abides in me and I in Him. and this so that i can overflow with His love to others.
and so i sit here now... full of excitement & joy. i'm really excited about our 5:17 Church family and where we're going. i'm really excited about God's good news for all, the power to save us from our doomed selves. i'm really excited about the future and the plans God has in store for me and my brothers & sisters. and i sit here also reminded again, being zipped back in time to when i was sitting on a pew at church almost 5 years ago with huge heaviness & conviction.. a call He had put on my heart. 5 years later, it's still there, that same conviction. and i'm here again Lord, begging that you'd send me. please mark out my steps. forgive me for worrying and having such a need to know what'll happen in the future way of thinking. help me take things one day at a time as you prepare a way for me
