I don't know how, but You've lifted up my spirits and have taken away this cloud.
This easter weekend has been so rejuvenating for me! was a much needed break from the hospital and from school. there's nothing better than taking some time out to reflect and catchup on non-mediciney reading :) was filled with eating the Word & finishing half-read books, and basking in His creation. Yay for living near a beautiful park.. its a blessing even if at times i wish there was an ocean or mountain in arms reach :p
Over this weekend its been good reflecting on what Jesus' death & resurrection mean to me. I can't even describe the feeling. its more than joy, more than thankfulness.. its like this warm filling feeling that envelops every bit of you. the feeling that you are so dearly immensely loved despite being so unlovable, that you are someone God of all creation wants back into His family, so much that He'd give up everything for you, give up His most precious Son for you.
And more than that, for the Son to willingly accept death, shame, excruciating pain, and the burden of the world's sin past present future, even bearing separation from His Father as He willingly accepted death on the cross because of His great love for us. That's craziness. It's something that can't be explained away, just doesn't make sense. And that's whats so powerful about this. Plus the fact that the story doesn't end there.
Jesus conquered death and is alive! and in so doing, He conquers death for us and we become alive in Him! Not just so that we no longer have to face eternity apart from the Father, but that here on earth we have relationship, we have closeness and access to Him through Jesus. That He no longer sees me in all my shortcomings and failings time and time again... but sees Christ's perfection blanketing over me. i realize more so now than when i was a younger christian just how sinful and undeserving I am ... how hopeless it would be if Christ never took my penalty. And so for me, Jesus' death & resurrection means hope! hope for eternity with the Father & hope for now , that He's working to change me bit by bit, till I reflect Him. Praying He keep on cleaning out the house of my heart, to sweep away the dust of sin that's piled without me even realizing.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" -- 1 Peter 1:3
